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July 2009 
While Having Sex Do Not Seek Release *Tantra Practice
Posted on Feb 23rd, 2009
by 
Attainment
Attainment
Tantra uses sexuality to make you whole, to bring your total energy system in balance, completion. But for this to happen you must be very meditative. For this experience to happen, you must remain very alert and aware during the sex act - not in control. Alert and aware does not mean control. Just the opposite must happen. Forget all that was given to you about sex. Drop the studies, the church, the religion. Come to the sexual experience completely innocent, with no mind.
And if you come to sex act with no mind, it might look as if you've gone mad. The no-mind state looks mad! When you drop mind, you become whole as if like an animal. Man and woman has lost this innate instinct. The mind is always controlling the energy, controlling the experience and you miss the experience of sheer joy and bliss of being totally like an animal. If you can lose mind and come to sex total, you will be thrown down into the deepest biolocial center within you - you will become whole! You whole energy system, your whole body will become energized.
In this overflow of energy we usually will seek release, seek ejaculation. Tantra says avoid this! Do not seek ejaculation during the sex act. But because we are not used to this overflow of energy, it will be difficult in the beginning not to wish to throw the extra energy off, to seek release from the excitement. When you release this energy, you whole system will relax, will become weak. But this relaxation is just a negative relaxation. If you relax just by throwing this energy off, it comes at a great cost. Because then it cannot go deeper and it cannot become spiritual.
So don't be in a hurry, that's the first thing. And don't hanker after the end. Remain always with the beginning. Every second during the sex act be present, be alive, be with the experience, feeling the energy flowing. Relax with the lover, touching, loving. Forget the end completely. Do not seek the end, the ejaculation.
In tantra there are three possibilities of how lovers come together - three geometrical possibilities. It is represented in three geometric figures. One figure is a square, another figure is a triangle and the third figure is a circle.
Ordinarily when you are in the sex act, there are four persons, not two, and this is a square: four angles are there because you yourself are divided in two- into the thinking part and the feeling part. Your partner is also divided in two; you are four persons. Two persons are not meeting there, but four, creating a square. It looks like a meeting, but there is no meeting. No commune has happened. No energy between the two has happened.
The second meeting is like a triangle. You are two - two angles of the base. For a sudden moment you become one, like the third angle of the triangle. For a sudden moment your two-ness is lost and you become one. This is better than a square meeting because at least for a single moment there is oneness. That oneness give you health, vitality. You feel alive and young again. But it is only momentary. You will continually have to seek the experience again and again.
But the third is the best and the third is the tantric meeting - you become a circle. There are no angles, and the meeting is not for a single moment. The meeting has no time in it. And this can happen only if you do not seek ejaculation. If you seek ejaculation, then it is a triangle meeting. But if you do not seek ejaculation, if you are there moment by moment, touching, loving, making love to your partner, every second is felt, shared, with no seeking ejaculation, then this becomes a circle.
Tantra says, do not try and escape sexuality. Do not be so violent with yourself. Rather, use nature itself to trancend. Don't fight; accept nature in order to transcend it. If this communion with your lover is prolonged with no end in mind, then you can just remain in the beginning, remain with the energy, the excitement. Soon this way of love making opens you to another dimension of a higher relaxation which is very positive. Normally we release the energy in ejaculation and we feel a negative relaxation, nothing was accomplished. But if both partners melt with each other, giving vital energy to each other, they become a circle of energy, a flow of energy, giving life to each other, renewing life. No energy is lost. Rather, more energy is gained because through the contact with the opposite sex your every cell is challeneged, excited.
If you can enter this experience without ejaculation, it becomes a meditation, and through it you become whole. You transcend.
And once you've had this beautiful experience with another, once you felt the circle of energy within you, once your own circle has developed, you can simply remember the act and enter into the energy. Even then the other person is not needed. But first you must have the experience with someone. Then you do not have to depend on the other. You can simply feel the circle of energy and you can go and behave just as if the other is there, scream, shake, be wild - do all the things you would do as if the lover is there, move, tremble, whatsoever you would normally do, and again the circle of energy will begin to give you trancendence. The other was simply the door, an opportunity. If you feel the sexuality and the other is not there, simply enjoy it alone. Go and be utterly the same as you would be as if the other is there. This can be done even without the other. The whole existence becomes the 'other.' And once you realize you can do this without the other, you suddenly begin to realize you can have this communion, this circle in many dimensions. You can commune with the air, stars, trees - a circle of energy can be shared on many levels, many dimensions. It is good to start with another human. It can be easiest felt here. But remain meditative so that you are not dependent. And soon you become a lover of the whole, of the whole universe.
And once this circle of energy is developed, you can become a true celibate. When this circle of energy is created inside, you are freed.
Tantra says: Sex is the deepest bondage, yet it can be used as a vehicle for the highest freedom!
Be free! Enjoy! Become a lover of the Whole Existence!
And if you come to sex act with no mind, it might look as if you've gone mad. The no-mind state looks mad! When you drop mind, you become whole as if like an animal. Man and woman has lost this innate instinct. The mind is always controlling the energy, controlling the experience and you miss the experience of sheer joy and bliss of being totally like an animal. If you can lose mind and come to sex total, you will be thrown down into the deepest biolocial center within you - you will become whole! You whole energy system, your whole body will become energized.
In this overflow of energy we usually will seek release, seek ejaculation. Tantra says avoid this! Do not seek ejaculation during the sex act. But because we are not used to this overflow of energy, it will be difficult in the beginning not to wish to throw the extra energy off, to seek release from the excitement. When you release this energy, you whole system will relax, will become weak. But this relaxation is just a negative relaxation. If you relax just by throwing this energy off, it comes at a great cost. Because then it cannot go deeper and it cannot become spiritual.
So don't be in a hurry, that's the first thing. And don't hanker after the end. Remain always with the beginning. Every second during the sex act be present, be alive, be with the experience, feeling the energy flowing. Relax with the lover, touching, loving. Forget the end completely. Do not seek the end, the ejaculation.
In tantra there are three possibilities of how lovers come together - three geometrical possibilities. It is represented in three geometric figures. One figure is a square, another figure is a triangle and the third figure is a circle.
Ordinarily when you are in the sex act, there are four persons, not two, and this is a square: four angles are there because you yourself are divided in two- into the thinking part and the feeling part. Your partner is also divided in two; you are four persons. Two persons are not meeting there, but four, creating a square. It looks like a meeting, but there is no meeting. No commune has happened. No energy between the two has happened.
The second meeting is like a triangle. You are two - two angles of the base. For a sudden moment you become one, like the third angle of the triangle. For a sudden moment your two-ness is lost and you become one. This is better than a square meeting because at least for a single moment there is oneness. That oneness give you health, vitality. You feel alive and young again. But it is only momentary. You will continually have to seek the experience again and again.
But the third is the best and the third is the tantric meeting - you become a circle. There are no angles, and the meeting is not for a single moment. The meeting has no time in it. And this can happen only if you do not seek ejaculation. If you seek ejaculation, then it is a triangle meeting. But if you do not seek ejaculation, if you are there moment by moment, touching, loving, making love to your partner, every second is felt, shared, with no seeking ejaculation, then this becomes a circle.
Tantra says, do not try and escape sexuality. Do not be so violent with yourself. Rather, use nature itself to trancend. Don't fight; accept nature in order to transcend it. If this communion with your lover is prolonged with no end in mind, then you can just remain in the beginning, remain with the energy, the excitement. Soon this way of love making opens you to another dimension of a higher relaxation which is very positive. Normally we release the energy in ejaculation and we feel a negative relaxation, nothing was accomplished. But if both partners melt with each other, giving vital energy to each other, they become a circle of energy, a flow of energy, giving life to each other, renewing life. No energy is lost. Rather, more energy is gained because through the contact with the opposite sex your every cell is challeneged, excited.
If you can enter this experience without ejaculation, it becomes a meditation, and through it you become whole. You transcend.
And once you've had this beautiful experience with another, once you felt the circle of energy within you, once your own circle has developed, you can simply remember the act and enter into the energy. Even then the other person is not needed. But first you must have the experience with someone. Then you do not have to depend on the other. You can simply feel the circle of energy and you can go and behave just as if the other is there, scream, shake, be wild - do all the things you would do as if the lover is there, move, tremble, whatsoever you would normally do, and again the circle of energy will begin to give you trancendence. The other was simply the door, an opportunity. If you feel the sexuality and the other is not there, simply enjoy it alone. Go and be utterly the same as you would be as if the other is there. This can be done even without the other. The whole existence becomes the 'other.' And once you realize you can do this without the other, you suddenly begin to realize you can have this communion, this circle in many dimensions. You can commune with the air, stars, trees - a circle of energy can be shared on many levels, many dimensions. It is good to start with another human. It can be easiest felt here. But remain meditative so that you are not dependent. And soon you become a lover of the whole, of the whole universe.
And once this circle of energy is developed, you can become a true celibate. When this circle of energy is created inside, you are freed.
Tantra says: Sex is the deepest bondage, yet it can be used as a vehicle for the highest freedom!
Be free! Enjoy! Become a lover of the Whole Existence!
Access: Public
Yes I agree. It is much different, I will feel as if I have a uterus and the woman is inside of me instead of me in her. sometimes the release is that which goes up the spine. Yes that is true union. Thank you for sharing this deep and healing process.
Thank you, Craig, for sharing your experience!!!
There are kundalini tantra practices that relate exactly to what you experience.
The tantra technique that I posted above is related not necessarily to kundalini practices as it is to feeling integrated and whole. Our sexual energies become split and we become neurotic. We do not even notice it as the whole society is sexually neurotic. It just looks normal. But according to tantric standards, unless you are whole and one you are missing life altogether. So the above technique is to give a practice where a person can experience wholeness, not to be split, undivided, feeling unities, synthesized. The mind is always promising what it cannot deliver and a person can spend their whole life following a false promise. Tantra give technqiues to integrate the energy, so one can fall deep down within themselves to a deep centered feeling within.
The practice that you describe is called kundalini tantra practice. It can be easily misunderstood because on the outward appearance it can look like ordinary sexual practices. Yet when a person has integrated their energies, as one can do with the above practices, they may venture to deeper tantric practice to further integrate the energies. In the context of which I’m speaking is of the male and female bodies. For example, the first body of the man is male, the second is female, the third again male, and the fourth female. In the female it is the opposite; her first body is female, the second male, the third is again female, and the fourth is male.
If there is enough energy and the individual is deeply meditative, the sex energies of the physical body of a male flows towards the etheric female body within him. And if there is still sufficient energies, the energy flows upwards continually, until it reaches the fourth body. After the fourth body sexuality has no meaning, because there is nothing like male and female. This is often referred to union with the divine.
I hope you are able to understand what I am saying (big, big smile!!!) There is no contradiction in the practices. One is spoken to integrated the split giving an experiences of wholeness…and the kundalini practices take that to furthering degrees!!!!!
Thank you so much, Craig, for sharing your experience!!!!
Love,
Cheyenne
Yes, you hit the nail on the head! Thank you! I am always happy to share my experiences, no matter what they are. Yes when 2 are at the same state and share in this tantric practice it is absolute bliss!
Love
Craig
Craig, thank you! What is also remarkable and really of great value is that one can also practice alone. The ‘other’ is necessarily only in the beginning. But if one is meditative, they can gain access to the place within that is the source of energy, the source of love and power. It is within them. Then if the other is there, it is ‘bliss’, has you describe. But even if the other is not there, one can still have bliss.
Once a person has gained independence, AH!, they are free! This freedom is bliss!
I found - well, I guess I’ll say it…- I found the ‘other’ to be hell!!!!!! It was only when I discovered the source within that the bliss was felt! (big, big smile!)
And I should be kind…the other was not really hell. But my dependence was hell!
Meditation cannot be underestimated for what it gives! To realize the source of all your experiences are within, to continually mature and deepen awareness of all expereinces…..it makes what was common divine!
Thank you, Craig!!!!!
Hear me out here…
I love the idea of the third meeting - the circle - of being there moment by moment, savoring and feeling each moment, each touch being felt and shared, each second being treasured, etc. without focusing on and worrying about reaching the climax…that’s the way the sexual experience should be anyway - making love to your partner, as you said.
Where I start to protest strongly is the
“no-release ending”,
and where I start to stomp my foot and shout in rebellion is the
“no-partner-needed experience”,
and where I flat-out JUMP SHIP is the idea of being a
“true celibate”!!
See, Cheyenne! …This is EXACTLY what I was saying to you before…I don’t WANNA do that!!
And you said I don’t HAVE to!!
ok…I’m stomping my foot again.
;)
Valerie!!!!!! I just adore you! How wonderful of a post! The laughter went through my whole soul! I so understand your words….and maybe contradictory to your feelings about it, the post qualifies you as a candidate of perfect celibacy!!!! (big smile)…
See, Valerie, you are seeing it as going DOWN the ladder of sexuality. The circle, the sexuality with no partner, then celibacy is not going down the ladder, but UP the ladder.
After having spent some time in a sexual circle with a lover the cells become very energized and you may suddenly feel very orgasmic even when the lover is not there. All you cells vibrating, rising in energy. When this was happening to me, I could not even get up the hallway without lying my body sweetly against the wall and the coolness would enter me and send me into orgasmic bliss. Every second of the day desiring union and you cannot expect another to be there…and we continue to embrace this sexuality as an opportunity to transform, to raise our consciousness to bliss-consicousness. I would be, for example, cooking pasta for the family. Well, I cannot even get through the 12 minute boiling point…I must excuse myself for a few moments alone to enjoy the energy that is circling through my soul. Many dinners were burnt before I returned to the kitchen. And this might seem pleasant, but at times it is quite an arduous practice. Times you’d just wish to release the energy and move on with your life!!!!! But no, see, spiritual practitioners are wishing to be lovers with the divine. We wish to bring our energy to the peak of our soul and then allow the divine to enter us. We are not satisfied with an orgasm once in a while. No! Us greedy sex addicts want contant bliss and orgasmic union with the whole. The Big SHIVA! Celibacy is when you no long seek the little release, but all your cells are full of sexual energy, circling…and you are ready now and receptive for the divine to enter you! You are now full, virgin, complete and ready to give yourself to the divine. To allow the divine to enter you. This is no negative experience. The ultimate orgasm. The ultimate unending bliss! Celibates are not rejecting sexuality, they are seeking to enter this consciousness completely and eternally. A celibate is so full and complete with sexual energy, they no longer need to exploit anyone or any moment, their body is full and acclimated to the bliss consciousness. Usually one is peaking and falling….peaking and falling. And the desire to throw the energy off is the deisre to remain with the known, and then again seeking the peak. The celibate has transformed their consciousness, it is now even with the peak. The celibate’s consciousness is one with the peak and no longer needs to seek the peak. The celibate is seeking the divine union. They are in constant prayer and communion with the divine. LIke one that is constantly walking with their lover, the celibate is constantly walking with the divine, feeling the bliss everywhere in everything. It is the transformed energy that makes this possible!
I love your stomp! Ooooohhhh, it is so sexy! “I want to orgasm!” Well, my dear Valerie, if you enjoy orgasming, you are a perfect canditate to be celibate. Comparing the hottest, best orgasm you’ve ever experienced to divine union is like comparing a candle to the sun. The difference is this great! (big, big, big smile!)
To you, Dear Valerie! And your joyful journey!
Love, love
Cheyenne
This conversation paints an interesting picture for me; Flying solo into ecstasy.
It ties into the idea of conscious death. Holding on until one feels safe and assured to the point of flying solo into God.
Enlightening.
Ah, Jeannie! You have it exactly right. Your beautiful words “holding on until one feels safe and assured to the point of flying solo into God” are like a sexual experience. Often times even the fear of sexaultiy is the fear of death, letting go, being vulnerable, open, taken by a force greater than yourself. No one allows himself a total let-go in it. The fear is there, one is on guard. You cannot go into it totally, cannot let yourself go completely because that let-go is just like death. You are out of control and the energy is taking you.
The deathless is expereinced at death. And death can be experienced at two poles: One when the body/mind phenomenon is reduced of energy and the other pole is when you are peaked with energy. Death can be experienced when the body loses all energy or a peak release of energy. And suddenly we are thrown into the deathless state - blissfulness! But you cannot do it from the middle. You must be at either pole to experience the deathless state. You cannot make the jump from the middle-state of energy.
You are so right on, Jeannie! So right on!
Love,
Cheyenne
:))) You give me big big smiles too Cheyenne - and I so adore YOU!
And Cheyenne, as reluctant as I am to do so, I must admit…I think you may be correct…
I may just be the candidate of perfect celibacy!
Oh my….
I experience all the things you are talking about. I, myself, am stopped in my tracks by the feeling on a regular basis. You might just catch me leaning against that wall also - and holding on for dear life! And I DO enjoy holding onto that energy and feeling it circling through my soul, my cells filled with that sexual energy, walking with that bliss. I revel in it!
:)
But it does become arduous after a time, and eventually,
I’ve had enough,
I’m looking for that release -
I’m stomping that foot of mine!!
;)
But I’m thinking…if the comparing the hottest, best orgasm I’ve ever experienced to divine union is like comparing a candle to the sun…now that is MY kind of comparison right there.
:))
Walking with the divine, feeling bliss everywhere in everything…it does sound… well…divine!
:)
VALERIE!!!!!!!!!! OMG! You are divine! Thank you for sharing your soul! It is a risk, this path. People fall because the high is so great - the fall too is can be great. It takes a stong and committed soul to sojourn this path. It takes commitment, sincerity, honesty, and foremost - foremost it takes LOVE! Love!
Thank you, Valerie!!!!
Love,
Cheyenne
Hi Everybody, much love to all,
Tantra, hummmm,
You words make me think of Osho, thank you, hmmmm, my beloved Osho.
Don't try what I'm about to say, if happen great, but don't look for it.
Sometimes in Tantra the penetration happen in the six center, no in
the sex center, or in the mouth or the heart.
Is the Tantra kiss, if this is happen, the Universe is blessing you both in that moment, time disappear and space is transcended, even if you and you beloved where naked in top of stones, you would don't notice the hardness in that moment, you will become innocent like children's and experience the
purity of the heart and mind. For the time it last you had have an experience of a sacred marriage and nothing can be disturbed while you are embrace by
the light. Something very beautiful, really, happen, and very simple to, very
naturel, it feel sooo naturel.
Don't look for it, but jump out of the train now and them
I love the path of Tantra, I have sooo much miles to do jet, but is OK,
I'm enjoy the way. I don't not way but is a joy inside since no long a go, that
doesn't go. hmmmmm
Thank you Cheyence, thanks to all you, much love, Chi
Oh, Chi! Jeeeezzzzz! I think I know this kiss!!!!
And yes, of course, these words would remind you of your Beloved Master Osho…It is a Tantra Practice from the Book of Secrets that He did Masterful and Profound Comentaries on!!!! Any work that has “Tantra Practice” came from the Book of Secrets. I have posted a few of those.
Thank you dearly for your words on Tantra! And you give me such joy…you enjoy the way!!! Oh, Chaitanyo…Tantra will make you miserable! It will put such an ache in you, you will never recover…or at least I found this to be so. A lover will take you down to your bones, strip you raw with his kiss…and then you are left with no choice but to enter God's love or be tortured forever by the kiss of love, the kiss of the death!
After I entered Tantric Love, my every breath tortures me…my soul wonders lost howling for its lover…until finally, it occurs to me…if the kiss of the divine touches me once, I will be free of this ache. I simply must pick up my torn heart and give it fully and never look back!
I never advice people to move into Tantra! I do try to assist those who are already hot, already in love and do not understand themselves…!!!! Leaving little bread crumbs for those hungry…but OH! I will rejoice with you! I so understand your words!
Thank you dearly!!!
Love,
Cheyenne
Cheyene!!,,
………and then you are left with no choice but to enter God's love……
my God!, is so true all what you say, and I'm so greateful,
Thank you for reflecting so beautiful what I'm living.
it give to my soul an eco of the reality I'm in.
Love you Cheyene, Blessing to you and a waterfall of petals of roses
descending in you.
I'm so happy that I have connect with you.
I love to write this poeme of Hafiz.
THE SUBJET TONIGHT IS LOVE
AND FOR TOMORROW NIGHT AS WELL
AS A MATTER OF FACT
I KNOW OF NO BETTER TOPIC
FOR US TO DISCUSS
UNTIL WE ALL
DIE!
love Chaitanyo
Oh, Chaitanyo, I can feel your soul! And I can also feel that you DO live Love…the challenge is so great here in society….like a little flower bursting through the cracks on a busy sidewalk! YOU are this beautiful flower! Your fragrance is filling the space and air!
Chaitanyo!!!! Yes, what better topic than LOVE??????
I love you too, Chiatanyo! A Blessing to you and a waterfall of petals of roses descending on YOU!!!
Thank you so much!
Love,
Cheyenne
Chi! I read something today that made me belly-laugh and my mind rushed to your poem that you so beautifully shared!
It said:
“The path of love is exceedingly slippery,
People bring loaded bullocks
where even an ant's foot slips.”
So funny! Yes, even the ego of an ant, and you will slip…and people bring loaded bullocks!
So funny to me!
Sending love!
Cheyenne
OH!! yes yes, I know about bullocks…….giggle, giggle, giggle
kisses, chi