Love is Embarrassing....even a subtle bondage.

Being in love is embarrassing.  There's a subtle bondage when in love.  Yet it is absolutely necessary if you want to grow, become deeply yourself, authentic.

I say love is embarrassing because when you feel authentic love, you go to give this love, and suddenly you are so surprised, so much else is coming out...anger, childishness, frustration, insecurity.  Oh!  Not exactly what you had in mind to express your love.  Yet if you do not express these feelings, you cannot express the love.  They are intrinsically interrelated.  A person who cannot express their anger, their childish feelings, cannot express love.  They are the same energy.  It's You.  It's what you have been carrying around in you, in your soul.  At first it is embarrassing, but you will mature!  Love helps one mature...and there's a feeling of freedom and blissfulness from knowing and becoming truly who you are.

You cannot express just what you want.  Either you have to express all or repress all.  The choice is not what to express or repress.  The choice is rather will you express or repress your whole being.  You cannot separate who you are into good and bad, acceptable and nonacceptable.  So to avoid this pain of being authentic, of looking so immature, of showing what you really are, we protect ourselves by becoming superficial, but it is at a great cost.  You miss the very truth of yourself that is within you and the release that acceptance and love can bring.

When you go deep into love you become so wild.  Only god knows what will come out of you!  You lose your civilized way of being and you can find out that you are mad.  The madness just hidden beneath the surface.  It is true for most everyone. So we must stay superficial, or else....or else you are very embarrassed!!!  How to explain this?  It is love.  I love you....now here I am, here I come.  One trembles in their boots.  You know you're not acceptable.  Yet love always says yes...yes....yes...I accept this.  I love you.  To know another is very exciting.

In this way love is a liberation.  When love comes to deep acceptance there's an ecstasy, you are known and loved.  You come to know another and love them deeply, the anger, the frustration, the laughter, the tears, all is allowed, both in yourself and in the other.  Acceptance is love.

But it takes a very mature love for this to happen.  Usualy love is codependence.  That is what the majority of lovers are experiencing.  Two people dependent on each other, clinging and demanding.  Another kind of love is where the two stay very separate, two independent people staying themselves but sharing.  This kind of love is better maybe - I say maybe - but still there is misery, something is missing, a lack of depth.

The mature kind of love, the love that brings the most satisfaction is one of interdependence.  It does not happen often, but it can.  When two people, neither dependent nor independent find a tremendous harmony, synchronicity, as if each is breathing for the other.  They somehow complete each other.  They are still someone utterly themselves, yet one with each other.  This I call love.  This I call love.  This love has a strong spiritual quality, a blissfulness.  It creates a center within and one experiences a certain peace.

And this kind of love does have a certain feeling of bondage, a subtle feeling of not being totally free.  You're not totally independent, but not dependent.  Yet I have learned that you cannot get anything for free.  You must be willing to give of yourself.  Nothing is free. And the more willing you are to give, the more you get out of it.  And if you are willing to risk everything, you will get a glimpse of meditation.  If you can give yourself totally you get a glimpse of no-mind.  Love gives you a glimpse of no-self, no mind.  Love can show you the bliss of being without self, surrendered, a total yes.....oh, I love being a total yes!

And that to me is the ultimate growth - to be able to say yes, yes, yes.  When you can say yes to life, to love, there's a tremendous freedom and joy.  No hesitation, no strings.  Just purely..I love you.  Just simply...I love you.  Living and learning along the way.  It brings a great sensitivity to your being.  You become mature.  And with that you feel blissful, yet with a great sensitivity, you also feel the pain, the suffering.

Oh, again, Love is very embarrassing.  Love does a work on you!  You don't have to try or do the work.   The work comes from your very being.  You just being you, and love does its work on you.  But you must be unafraid - risk and explore and go deeply into the adventure, into the darkness of yourself and the other.

Love is searching the unknown of one another...the bliss is being known and loved for who you are.

To know someone deeply is so beautiful.....

You are so beautiful