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July 2009 
Love is Embarrassing....even a subtle bondage.
Posted on Apr 25th, 2009
by 
Attainment
Attainment
Being in love is embarrassing. There's a subtle bondage when in love. Yet it is absolutely necessary if you want to grow, become deeply yourself, authentic.
I say love is embarrassing because when you feel authentic love, you go to give this love, and suddenly you are so surprised, so much else is coming out...anger, childishness, frustration, insecurity. Oh! Not exactly what you had in mind to express your love. Yet if you do not express these feelings, you cannot express the love. They are intrinsically interrelated. A person who cannot express their anger, their childish feelings, cannot express love. They are the same energy. It's You. It's what you have been carrying around in you, in your soul. At first it is embarrassing, but you will mature! Love helps one mature...and there's a feeling of freedom and blissfulness from knowing and becoming truly who you are.
You cannot express just what you want. Either you have to express all or repress all. The choice is not what to express or repress. The choice is rather will you express or repress your whole being. You cannot separate who you are into good and bad, acceptable and nonacceptable. So to avoid this pain of being authentic, of looking so immature, of showing what you really are, we protect ourselves by becoming superficial, but it is at a great cost. You miss the very truth of yourself that is within you and the release that acceptance and love can bring.
When you go deep into love you become so wild. Only god knows what will come out of you! You lose your civilized way of being and you can find out that you are mad. The madness just hidden beneath the surface. It is true for most everyone. So we must stay superficial, or else....or else you are very embarrassed!!! How to explain this? It is love. I love you....now here I am, here I come. One trembles in their boots. You know you're not acceptable. Yet love always says yes...yes....yes...I accept this. I love you. To know another is very exciting.
In this way love is a liberation. When love comes to deep acceptance there's an ecstasy, you are known and loved. You come to know another and love them deeply, the anger, the frustration, the laughter, the tears, all is allowed, both in yourself and in the other. Acceptance is love.
But it takes a very mature love for this to happen. Usualy love is codependence. That is what the majority of lovers are experiencing. Two people dependent on each other, clinging and demanding. Another kind of love is where the two stay very separate, two independent people staying themselves but sharing. This kind of love is better maybe - I say maybe - but still there is misery, something is missing, a lack of depth.
The mature kind of love, the love that brings the most satisfaction is one of interdependence. It does not happen often, but it can. When two people, neither dependent nor independent find a tremendous harmony, synchronicity, as if each is breathing for the other. They somehow complete each other. They are still someone utterly themselves, yet one with each other. This I call love. This I call love. This love has a strong spiritual quality, a blissfulness. It creates a center within and one experiences a certain peace.
And this kind of love does have a certain feeling of bondage, a subtle feeling of not being totally free. You're not totally independent, but not dependent. Yet I have learned that you cannot get anything for free. You must be willing to give of yourself. Nothing is free. And the more willing you are to give, the more you get out of it. And if you are willing to risk everything, you will get a glimpse of meditation. If you can give yourself totally you get a glimpse of no-mind. Love gives you a glimpse of no-self, no mind. Love can show you the bliss of being without self, surrendered, a total yes.....oh, I love being a total yes!
And that to me is the ultimate growth - to be able to say yes, yes, yes. When you can say yes to life, to love, there's a tremendous freedom and joy. No hesitation, no strings. Just purely..I love you. Just simply...I love you. Living and learning along the way. It brings a great sensitivity to your being. You become mature. And with that you feel blissful, yet with a great sensitivity, you also feel the pain, the suffering.
Oh, again, Love is very embarrassing. Love does a work on you! You don't have to try or do the work. The work comes from your very being. You just being you, and love does its work on you. But you must be unafraid - risk and explore and go deeply into the adventure, into the darkness of yourself and the other.
Love is searching the unknown of one another...the bliss is being known and loved for who you are.
To know someone deeply is so beautiful.....
I say love is embarrassing because when you feel authentic love, you go to give this love, and suddenly you are so surprised, so much else is coming out...anger, childishness, frustration, insecurity. Oh! Not exactly what you had in mind to express your love. Yet if you do not express these feelings, you cannot express the love. They are intrinsically interrelated. A person who cannot express their anger, their childish feelings, cannot express love. They are the same energy. It's You. It's what you have been carrying around in you, in your soul. At first it is embarrassing, but you will mature! Love helps one mature...and there's a feeling of freedom and blissfulness from knowing and becoming truly who you are.
You cannot express just what you want. Either you have to express all or repress all. The choice is not what to express or repress. The choice is rather will you express or repress your whole being. You cannot separate who you are into good and bad, acceptable and nonacceptable. So to avoid this pain of being authentic, of looking so immature, of showing what you really are, we protect ourselves by becoming superficial, but it is at a great cost. You miss the very truth of yourself that is within you and the release that acceptance and love can bring.
When you go deep into love you become so wild. Only god knows what will come out of you! You lose your civilized way of being and you can find out that you are mad. The madness just hidden beneath the surface. It is true for most everyone. So we must stay superficial, or else....or else you are very embarrassed!!! How to explain this? It is love. I love you....now here I am, here I come. One trembles in their boots. You know you're not acceptable. Yet love always says yes...yes....yes...I accept this. I love you. To know another is very exciting.
In this way love is a liberation. When love comes to deep acceptance there's an ecstasy, you are known and loved. You come to know another and love them deeply, the anger, the frustration, the laughter, the tears, all is allowed, both in yourself and in the other. Acceptance is love.
But it takes a very mature love for this to happen. Usualy love is codependence. That is what the majority of lovers are experiencing. Two people dependent on each other, clinging and demanding. Another kind of love is where the two stay very separate, two independent people staying themselves but sharing. This kind of love is better maybe - I say maybe - but still there is misery, something is missing, a lack of depth.
The mature kind of love, the love that brings the most satisfaction is one of interdependence. It does not happen often, but it can. When two people, neither dependent nor independent find a tremendous harmony, synchronicity, as if each is breathing for the other. They somehow complete each other. They are still someone utterly themselves, yet one with each other. This I call love. This I call love. This love has a strong spiritual quality, a blissfulness. It creates a center within and one experiences a certain peace.
And this kind of love does have a certain feeling of bondage, a subtle feeling of not being totally free. You're not totally independent, but not dependent. Yet I have learned that you cannot get anything for free. You must be willing to give of yourself. Nothing is free. And the more willing you are to give, the more you get out of it. And if you are willing to risk everything, you will get a glimpse of meditation. If you can give yourself totally you get a glimpse of no-mind. Love gives you a glimpse of no-self, no mind. Love can show you the bliss of being without self, surrendered, a total yes.....oh, I love being a total yes!
And that to me is the ultimate growth - to be able to say yes, yes, yes. When you can say yes to life, to love, there's a tremendous freedom and joy. No hesitation, no strings. Just purely..I love you. Just simply...I love you. Living and learning along the way. It brings a great sensitivity to your being. You become mature. And with that you feel blissful, yet with a great sensitivity, you also feel the pain, the suffering.
Oh, again, Love is very embarrassing. Love does a work on you! You don't have to try or do the work. The work comes from your very being. You just being you, and love does its work on you. But you must be unafraid - risk and explore and go deeply into the adventure, into the darkness of yourself and the other.
Love is searching the unknown of one another...the bliss is being known and loved for who you are.
To know someone deeply is so beautiful.....
You are so beautiful
Access: Public
It resonates deeply for me mi hermana and yet there is something I am choosing to be with before I write any more.
I appreciate the gift of your thoughts.
Blessed IS,
Jeremias
Oh, Jeremias!!!! I so look forward to learning of what you are choosing to be with…..let me guess…the subtle bondage?
I appreciate you too, Jeremias! And send you love! oh, blessed IS!
Cheyenne
Oh my precious, I'm feeling so soft and vulnerable these days, just kind of dried my tears and here I go again…
But I'm smiling through my tears and my heart makes a little jump of joy..hé hé can you see me Cheyenne I'm waving at you!
Love you too.
Oh, I do see you, Lucienne! And I have felt your vulnerability and tears…and your unbelievable beauty. You are coming apart, revealing your heart, your love and desires.
oh, I see you Lucienne!!!! And I jump up and down too!!!! And I look so forward to play with you!!!! what a joy you are!
I love you too!
Cheyenne
Masterful Piece! I love it and know it! It is like you took a page out of my life here and printed it. I love it. funny I was thinking some of these things in the last week, and here you write it, thank you again! Yes I had a tear fall when I read this, because I can relate to the embarrassment and then the surrender then the growth. When I accepted both sides of the coin of my heart then I grew!
Your Awesome
Love
Craig
I echo Craig for its like you've been looking over my shoulder reading my journal and my sharing elsewhere. Did you come visit me?
Blessed IS,
Jeremias
I only maybe possibly echo all these wonderful words that point in just the most positive direction of what love is. Is it too much to suggest that being in love creates everything in our world? I believe so yet think not.
Bravo Cheyenne. Your mere presence here on Gaia brightens.
The other piece that I feel compelled to add is:
another. The holding back begins with the self's fear of what will
surface if they truly dive into themselves.
Jeremias
Oh, Craig! Thank you! Sometimes it is painful when what we are comes up full force…and we have to deal with it! But it is also so beautiful because in love you cannot be conditioned. All the conditioning of the past drop and somehow you are what you are! It's a gift, yes?
Love gives you this feeling of being so free, then suddenly your ultimate reality arises because there's nothing to prevent. The gift of love!
My first real experience with love is when I had my first baby…oh, god..it was like I took a little pill that would bring out the very best in you and the worst in you. And I had to deal with it all once. what a learning experience. I was so thrilled. All my life wanting personal growth, and there in a child, in a love affair, it was all there! hence….five children! (laughing…but sort of true!)..someone real…alive…safe! I personally grew so much from relating to children.
Thank you so much, Craig, for sharing! I adore you!
Jeremias! Looking over your shoulder? Now do you think much has changed in a couple of weeks?…I was looking over your shoulder then..and now that you've moved to such a beautiful place, I am jumping up to look over your head even! What a view! And what an inner view you share too!
It's amazing, yes?, that deep inner experiences are alike. Though we are different and we express what we experience in our own way, the experience is the same! The deeper you go within, the more similar the experiences…an orange taste like an orange in Costa Rica and in California…Love is love….We all experience Silence the same….
I think we know each other because in truth there's one spirit…and it is so fun to be this close! Thank you truly so much for sharing yourself! You have such a strong presence! Thank you, Jeremias!
Now, Paul!!! You said a mouth full! Hmmmm? “I ONLY MAYBE POSSIBLY echo all these wonderful words……” Now, you absolutely give the impression of a man that is set up for love…only, maybe, possibly….I take that as a yes hidden behind a smile!
And, Paul, it is not too much to suggest, no! The world certainly is not just what we eat and drink, buy and sell. Another world opens when love is present…another world! One where LIFE can be seen and felt! And is it too much to suggest that if one is aware enough in love, it will throw them to their deepest center from whence all came and will return? (I believe so…yet think not)(what a meditation koan!)
Without love we seem somehow to live in a circle…love has a way of breaking the cycle and bringing a person present, no concern for past or future. And if you bring a high quality of awareness to the experience you become. And if you are even more aware, the goal of meditation can be achieved ~ the experience that the you is deathless.
I believe so, yet think not…..wow! What a statement. What a perfect reflection of heart versus mind. Oh, it is easy to leave the world, but not easy to leave the mind and live in the heart. Oooohhhh, so much courage is needed. But I dare you! When quiet, no mind, no thinking….a still small voice is always giving you hints, and you begin to feel YOUR way, then a total journey begins. An UNconditioning. At all costs following this voice…it will have you sometimes jumping off cliffs! Just go! Even if you die, you will have achieved something listening to the heart!….oh, the head leads you in circles. The heart leads you home, to your eternal nature.
Thank you, Paul…so so much! I am so happy that you posted here today!
Much, much, much, much, much, much love to You!
And WHOA! Jeremias That's IT!!! Now we can shut down any further discussion on how to move forward and experience life!
Oooohhh, nice! “If you cannot surrender to your Self you'll not be able to surrender to another. The holding back begins with the Self's fear of what will surface if they truly dive into themselves.”
Wow, now I'm so wordy, as you've kindly pointed out before (laughing, big smile)….and you now have said it all!
That's why it's so exciting, isn't it? While delving deep into another, you may not even notice that you're too delving deep into yourself. Oh, see, I love excitement and challenges..the unknown and mysterious….and yes, i most tremble at the thought of being known even to myself. But that's why I sit everyday..for the possibility of knowing myself, the gift that somehow Blessed IS.
Whoa! Jeremias, big clap!!!!!!! Yes! Thank you for being compelled! Fantastic!!!!
Love it! Big Hug!
Cheyenne
No one can say the things you do, like you do. Extraordinary and expanding… thank you… I needed that right now… Wado, :-))
Oh, Spirit Warrior, thank you!
I wonder often what you are doing….
you give me the feeling that You are an adventure!
Oh, god, I know what you mean when you say you needed that right now. Everyday I study, and everyday, every single day…I feel stunned, like I was dreaming and suddenly awakened by the words of the Masters.
And so relieved to be rid of my limits and opened to something more refreshing and with greater possibility, seeing often how much there is to explore. Not to cut myself short. Often finding the coal I'm holding is already reflecting a diamond and I was about to throw it….oooohhh!
Thank you, Spirit Warrior! I send you my love always!
Wado!!! (Don't know what it means, but I'm ready to try it!)
Thanks for your kind thought and comments Cheyenne. I am noticing that there are few songs on my iPod that are not driven by our society's not so Subtle Bondage to romantic love. Wow, it is pervasive isn't IT.
Blessed IS,
Jeremias
Oh, yes! I think it is because love is intrinsic to our being. Our soul lives upon love, like the body lives upon food. But without awareness it's more like a drug. With awareness, a medicine.
Love is the greatest technique. Certainly not the only one…personally, I know hundreds of others. But love is the highest technique. The quickest method to no-mind!
O, Jeremias! Whatcha looking at? Monkeys? I stayed weeks at a hotel in Costa Rica and outside my window a family of monkeys playing! Here where I live family of bears walking the yard this morning. Cougar sightings…coyotes howling under my window.
So different the world of humans compared to animals!
Do you think they fall in love? What an experience to miss, to master, to know.
Much love,
Cheyenne
Dear Cheyenne, this is brilliant ..I never read anything like that!
I am living in the middle of one of the oldest towns dating back to the early 1700's and known as the City Of Flowers for all of ist gardens. So there are no monkeys, but lots of interesting birds.
I think animals have souls much as we. Many animals and birds mate for life, so my sense is they know a form of love. Perhaps it is a form of attachment. I know of one case in South America where two alpacas were walking through a city and they had been mated for years. The male was hit and killed by a car. The female, though uninjured came over to her mate, lay down beside his body and died. Perhaps they do have some level of emotions,. This expressed grief and willed her self to leave her body.
I have no recollection of ever being an animal so I don't know, but the great cats who walk with me now tell me they experienced love and that is why they walked with me when we were embodied in another time. So yes, I'd have say that animals experience love.
Hmm, I am reminded that there only two emotions, love and fear, with fear being on the opposite end of the same energy line.
Blessed IS,
Jeremias
Hello Attainment:)
Beautifully explained and especially the part~”Love is searching the unknown of one another.”I agree that we need to be in love to grow and see our selves and the other in all levels~Now it seems as though there is not much tolerance for the “Raw~Core person in all of the life conditions we experience~People say,”Life is complicated enough why get involved in a situation or with a person who has drama.” Each person we open ourselves to and accept them as they are we are accepting a part of ourselves that this person is reflecting back~
Loved this post!!! Thanks for sharing!!! A HUGE HUG!!! L
Cheyenne, This beautiful thread you started reminded me of a song I previously blogged on that speaks to two levels of love. Love of another that has its embarrassment and love of self/Self which is willing to stand with nothing else but hallelujah before Source, unembarrassed.
Here's the quote which triggered this line of thought: “There was a time when you let me know what was really going on below.
But now you never show it to me, do you? But I remember when I moved in
you and the Holy Dove, She was moving too, and every single breath that
went through was Hallellujah…” Leonard Cohen in his song Hallelujah
There is a duality in this for me which juxtaposes being in relation
with a beloved other with moving into such a deep intimacy with one's
own Soul such that the embodied soul moves into integrity with its Soul
via releasing all attachments to those others who walked beside them
for a while.
It is my sense that as we move into being divine humans, we will no longer be drawn to be with another who has not done their own deep work of being in integrity with all of themselves.
This raises the inquiry for me of, 'In that place will we ever be called to create any special relationships with just one other for aren't we One with everyone?”
Blessed IS,
Jeremias
Cheyenne, I stumbled upon your post this morning as I greeted Gaia. It resonates exactly with my edge of personal growth and healing right now. The willingness at last to see the face of my pain, and call it's name. To recognize the thing I fear the most is what I desire the most. You spoke so much of it in your written voice. The short hand for me is Intimacy~Self with self, to make possible opening fearlessly with another. I love this line: Either you have to express all or repress all.
And this one: But you must be unafraid - risk and explore and go deeply into the adventure, into the darkness of yourself and the other.
Love is searching the unknown of one another…the bliss is being known and loved for who you are.
(ha! the terror!)
The remedy I am finding for the terror is a mantra from the Chocolate Poetry video I posted: My love for you is infinite and everywhere.
With that Love watching my back, I can risk.
I thank you for your words today, Cheyenne.
Thank you for another enriching piece.
Dear Joanna! Thank you! I so appreciate you and your comments!
And Jeremias, you touched me with the animal story. I had a german shepard once that we were so in love, he would not eat or drink if I was away. Only receive food from me. Would look so soulfully, like crying, whenever I was sad and hurt. Oh, what a love affair it was. I was a young girl then..and I felt this animal saved my soul..gave me so much comfort.
It was an interesting comments about you and the cats….Interesting. And where you live (!), wow…what a vision! I remember the beautiful birds. Thank you, Jeremias! Always!
And Ariole, I love what you wrote!
And so understood your words that not many can 'tolerate' this. They are too immature, have not done their own work, so I think. When you've seen your own soul, and still love yourself, accept and believe still in yourself..knowing you are loveable and can love, then…then…I think we can give this to another. We know them like ourself, yes? To be loveable..we know they seek love as we do. We know they have been hurt, as we have. We know they need to be understood, as we do. It is a maturity issue….and compatibily too. I think sometimes partners outgrow each other. A mature person attracts another mature person….a mature person is not attracted to a baby, no? When we are immature, we attract immature people…and often, as I found in my personal life, those relationships are good..but short!!! I am from a cultrue where love is a long commitment. I never knew anyone divorced. I am not bragging, many should have been (big smile)….but it was a shock for me to learn love comes and goes…one day in great love and the next your lover disappears not even a goodbye…okay. fine. It is more our openness and growth…as long as you are growing and maturing, never sacrificing your turth, you grow, and you will attract a different kind of lover (each time) (big smile)…till maybe a longterm mature love is found. Ohhh..because I do think it takes time to really know someone, to find out who they are…even a lifetime may not be enough..is not long for a love affair. Hmmm? or maybe a moment is enough. But…..that's not up to us…the Tao will have her way.
Thank you, Ariole! I was encouraged by your words! I send you much love!
Jeremias! goodness! You are quite reflective! Definitely I agree and have mastered in my own life, release of attachment. I can now recover in three days what was once upon a time, a “i-will-never-love-again” pain!!! (laughing)…hey, out of sight, out of mind…if a lover leaves, goodbye! No problem…glad you are gone! Three days of deep breathing and on we go! Love affairs are very fickle…but still worth it!!!! Now I know beforehand, this most likely will not work out, so what the hell, go for it!!!!! Enjoy! Tomorrow it might be gone…probably.
You speak of such high attainment, Jeremias. And yes, I believe as you in Nirvana…it is called in Buddhism…But how, tell me?, can we possible become one with all having not become one with one? Becoming one with another is not necessarily to me about two, but about myself. My own capabilities. And I do think soon enough, when we mature, have been satisfied, grown, we shift this love to what is called prayer…union with the whole, a love affiar with the whole. But one who has not loved deeply cannot possibly merge with all. how could they? The love of one is the love of all. It's a starter kit!!! (the lover that is) (big smile).
And I feel nothing wrong with being in love, drawn to another. Why wouldn't a master do this? Yes, as you say, wow, it would have to be a very mature and awesome couple, yes? As just spoken to Ariole…a master will not be attracted to a baby..no…a master will be attracted to a master. But no problem..it may or may not happen. But at that level, that's not the point. The lover is not defining you. A master is in love if the other is there or not. It is sweet if another is there….and still it is sweet if they are not. A master just loves…is loving…is love. Everything changes, everything passes…it is about your own growth, yes? And one who has grown, loves.
Oh, Carla! Yes….(terror!)..yes!
It is so frightening I know. For me it is like being soulfully naked. Feeling to myself I am not beautiful, I have many scars, many hurts and I still inside I cry…and showing this to another is so frightening. Fear they will say you are too ugly….I don't want you. And again the pain….
Oh, but the strength to give of yourself will return you love…maybe not always in the love affair we are in, but it will return. Always keep an open heart, show your soul. Two open hearts will find each other, even if an ocean away. And if this lover cannot accept, another will. there is a law, I believe, in attraction. I have seen it….have come to believe deeply in the power of being myself and what that brings is right, is the Tao.
Oh, yes, express all or repress all! Play with a full hand!
thank you, Carla, so much for your response! It was so beautiful to read your words.
Oh, Jeannie! Thank you! I send you love and hope all is well!!! I am always happy to see you!
Much love…Cheyenne
And one who has grown, loves.
Oh yes, magnificently, whether another is there or not. That is the gift of consciously loving and consciously embracing all which arises on separation - truly embracing the human side of It.
Blessed IS,
Jeremias
Cheyenne…
this is just so amazing on so many levels!
You never cease to amaze me!
Incredible.
And as with the others, I feel as if you peeked inside me and knew just what words to put here.
I've been following it day by day since you posted it, waiting to find the words to express myself here.
;)
Of course, in the case of “romantic” love…this all rings so true and hits right at home, as you know. It almost feels too much to sort through right now for me, although it is exactly what I need to do. I can very much relate to Alluvja's words above - I am experiencing the same thing!
But the funny thing is…
you say this in one of your comments:
My first real experience with love is when I had my first baby…oh,
god..it was like I took a little pill that would bring out the very
best in you and the worst in you. And I had to deal with it all once.
what a learning experience. I was so thrilled. All my life wanting
personal growth, and there in a child, in a love affair, it was all
there! hence….five children! (laughing…but sort of true!)..someone
real…alive…safe! I personally grew so much from relating to children.
…When I read this blog, that is exactly what came to mind! The birth of my children, my “love affair” with them, my very best and my very worst brought to light - this is the most intense learning experience of my life! And as you know, I went on to have four! And it still doesn't seem enough!! ;)
AND - the song!!!! I gasped when I saw the song you had posted and listened to it! Now I KNOW you peeked inside me! This is the song I sang over and over and over and over every day to my firstborn for the first year or two of his life!! It seemed the PERFECT song! I thought…this song is NOT about a romantic lover…this song is about this intense, pure, real love I feel as a mother for this precious being who came from my body and still suckles nourishment from me. This being for whom I desire happiness and peace and love and all good things, without expectation for what I will be given in return. THIS is love.
Thank you Cheyenne!
You are wonderful and beautiful!
:)
So much love to you!
xoxo
Jeremias! “That IS the gift of consciously loving and consciously embracing all which arises on separation. TRULY embracing the HUMAN side of it.” Truly embracing the human side of it….
Jeremias, thank you so much. It's perfection!
And Valerie! Hi!….I adore you Valerie. You, to me, are quite transparent. And it is so beautiful.
The birth of each individual certainly is the most tramatic event of our lives. We are suddenly, violently rippped from our source…from our roots. It is like a tree being uprooted from the ground suddenly. A desparate feeling to come home, to be back with the source, to be with the 'other.' This feeling comes again to the surface when we enter love. That's why I feel it destroys the ego…the ego is sense separation. Love is sense of union.
When in love, this same feeling emerges. To come home, to be one again with the other. It is a deep primal feeling. And when two lovers find a way to become one it is a deep healing, a deep satisfaction.
And how you feel about the babies is exactly how you will feel about the lover that has entered you deeply. Think of it this way, the babies came from our deepest sex. It was in reality a deep sexual experience, carrying babies deep in our sex, in our womb, for nine months. The man enters the woman and it is only for a moment. The child enters us and is there for nine months. A deep sexual union, spiritual experience.
The baby come from our sex and there is utter bonding, a love we will easily die for, easily, willingly, quickly. The baby comes from deep within us out. The lover comes from the outside in. Moves the opposite direction. I often find myself calling my love, “my baby.” Romantic love is the beginning of the same love you feel for the baby. If it goes deep, if the lovers lose the ego and become one. If the woman is very open to the man, desires him fully, and If the man is willing to enter deep in her love, in her sex, her body, her soul suddenly the same relationship, the same interdependence is felt that the mother feels for the baby. A union, a coming home, a oneness.
The baby is one with the mother's breath, her body, her love, being. And if lovers can go this deep, they feel the same - one with each other's breath, body, love, being. That is why deep love, I feel, gives one a primal healing. It is a deep experience. And you come to love the lover like a baby…singing to your baby, 'you are so beautiful..to me, can't you see. you're everything I hope for. and you're everything I need. you are so beautiful to me.'
O, Valerie, you make me cry. When it comes that you are singing that song to your lover, know that the love has gone deep into your cells, deep to place where your babies have once been, he has permeated you, and you feel the deep union. Then the sex is not so physical, but spiritual. The sex is sacred, a way of entering one another's soul. A way of coming home, being one again. So beautiful.
And sexuality is union with one. Enlightenment is union with the whole.
And as we spoke of once before in another blog - it compares as a candle to the sun. Think of it….the bliss of union with one is so great, o, god, amazing. Multiply that as many times as you multiply a candle to the sun, and this is the bliss of enlightenment. Sexuality and Enlightenment are two aspects of one phenomenon.
Union is very blissful when it is without ego….and you find yourself saying the very words you say to your baby…you say to everyone, to a friend, a lover, even an emeny(!)…you say: “This being for whom I desire happiness and peace and love and all good things, without expectation for what I will be given in return. THIS is love.” I love you.
Wow, Valerie, it is okay that I say THAT was the perfect bodhisattva statement coming right from your heart. So very beautiful.
And thank YOU Valerie…you are wonderful and beautiful!
Much love to you,
Cheyenne
“Think of it this way, the babies came from our deepest sex.” Yes, I knew each time that we had conceived a baby. There was such a depth in our connection with each other and with All.
Hmmm,“And sexuality is union with one.” I see this as yes, AND our own personal cultivation of our sexual energies as sacred provides the direct access to using our own life force to merge with ourselves becoming our own best healer, teacher and guru. While sexuality and a deep relationship with one other may have them mirror the inner work you require to be One with your Self, the actual work is a solitary process between you and your Soul.
So dancing with another from time to time seems more useful for true evolutionary growth than a committed living together.
Blessed IS,
Jeremias
O, I like this, Jeremiah:
AND our own personal cultivation of our sexual energies as sacred provides the direct access to using our own life force to merge with ourselves becoming our own best healer, teacher and guru. While sexuality and a deep relationship with one other may have them mirror the inner work you require to be One with your Self, the actual work is a solitary process between you and your Soul.
Yes, yes, and then yes again. I felt this too in practice. Years of practice didn't match what one deep love affair showed me, gave me, and set me free from….yet I accredit awareness as the element of growth, more than practice, more than love. Love affairs have a way of making you aware.
Dancing from time to time….from life to life. Beautiful!
Thank you again, Jeremias! Love your words!!!
Absolutely, one must be aware and the disciplined practice of meditation allows the cultivation of awareness.
Thanks Cheyenne for your work , awareness, words and the Love you Be.
Blessed IS,
Jeremias
Thank You, my blessed Guru. The subtle bondage is the glue that seals a loving relationship. Your teachings make me more alive everyday.
Sedona is beautiful. I feel your presence with me as I do this wonderful healing work.
Love,
Ram Prem
I often woe my transparency Cheyenne!
It can make one so vulnerable, be such a hindrance at times.
But I don't know how to be any other way…
I have never been able to learn or understand the games the world often plays!
And…such wonderful, beautiful descriptions Cheyenne!
It's all so very true.
Perhaps this is why I crave that union almost every minute -
and also never stop longing for another baby.
And crave enlightenment!
And Jeremias…
I knew when each of my babies was conceived also - that depth of connection - I know just what you mean!
And I could just FEEL it…the second it happened!
And Cheyenne,
I knew as I was putting these words down:
“This being for whom I desire happiness and peace and love
and all good things, without expectation for what I will be given in
return. THIS is love.”
that this was a Bodhisattva statement, coming right from my heart, and I thought…this is what I'm yearning for…I long to feel this for every being, for the whole world, all of the time!!
And I do, much of the time.
Those that have hurt, especially intentionally…those that continue to, especially intentionally, or without care that they are doing so…this is when I find it so difficult.
This is a huge challenge.
Thank you again Cheyenne!
So much love to you!!
:)
xoxo
Thank you, Jeremias!!!!! And thank you too for your works, work and love! I get so thrilled reading your short sentences that say it all!!! Thank you!
Ram Prem!!!!!! Hi! Thank You! That's what it is, isn't it?!!! ”The subtle bondage is the glue that seals a loving relationship.” What a beautiful way to say it!!! I am looking forward to hearing ALL about the healing work you did at this tantric workshop! Ram Prem, you are a fine healer, so very intuitive and giving, and gifted!!! I look forward to your return. Your presence is definitely missed!
Much love!!!!
Valerie!!! It is beautiful that you are transparent!
I laughed a little reading your words about craving union every second. I have thought before, 'maybe I should go see a doctor. tell him, listen to me…check my hormones…maybe they are revvvvvved up. I heard on the radio every six minutes a woman thinks of sex….what's this every second, and many times second (!), I think of sex? Not just think…I'm hot..all the time! Maybe something is wrong!'
But it is merely energy…it is merely energy!!! And it can be focused and used in many ways! It is wonderful to read of your energy and drive..it shows the potential, truly! It is a gift, this craving!!!
Getting past the habit of the energy flowing downward and filling the sexual organs and they vibrating and wanting release, giving us craving, that is an arduous part of the practice. It took me personally maybe four years to get the energy rising! Four years of focused practice in that area! uh!….but way worth it!!!!!
Valerie, wow! It always impresses me when people speak about their desire to be a bodhisattva! I feel speechless at the love people have in their heart. and a bodhisattva may well feel frustration when people are hurting others intentially. Not all buddhas and bodhisattvas are so well mannered and meek! I have studied many that could never be heralded and lifted up in the news or written about for the masses to admire….no, you cannot predict a free soul! I laughed so much reading the statement of one powerful bodhisattva..he said, “If you like putting hats on babies and doing flower arrangements, don't come to me. I'm not for you.” ….no, some are tough!…they mean it! don't come to them, unless you are ready to be ripped apart with no mercy. They are not trying to save your life, but your soul!
O, yes, Huge Challenge! Everyday! That's what makes it so exciting and wonderful, yes?
Thank you again, Valerie!
Much love to you!
Cheyenne
Hi Cheyenne, this ability to give the second chakra life force permissin to move is what keeps me alive and vibrant. Its amazing how we deny and repress the most powerful energetic life force. When this energy is flowing and natural we are free and fully alive.
Love,
Ram Prem
Cheyenne . . .
Love should NOT be embarrassing . . . and you explained why . . .
Peace and love . . .
Snake
Dear Ram Prem! Thank you! We are in better times, yes? People are becoming more aware and awakening to this energy and embracing themselves, healing themselves and others. It is beautiful to see. very.
Thank you so much, Ram Prem!!!
And Snake, hi!!! It shouldn't be, should it! (big smile!) Thank you so much for your comment!!!
And peace and love to you too!
Love,
cheyenne
I come to this particular blog at noon on this day, feeling broken open, vulnerable, wildly taken by the arms of lovers disquised by words. Tears are washing over all of this, knowing that nothing is excluded from our love as we open up to it. Thank you Cheyenne. I'll point to this lovely and important blog in my status today. Nice to look into this mirror today. I am well pleased.
Oh, my gosh…your words moved me, Satya-Seer!
It is very beautiful to stay with the wave, saying what is true…the whole process.
It is most beautiful to never shut off, remain vulnerable (kind of difficult sometimes) - there's a rhythm to it, yes - yet still say it..say it…say it, what you are experiencing and even if the love cannot survive the truth, we have grown from the love.
I am so happy you are well pleased, Satya-Seer. I am pleased too…happy to be a mirror (big smile!!!).
Your words are very touching! Thank you so much for sharing!
Much love,
Cheyenne
I am all open arms, a baby grabbing to be held in the arms of the Beloved. THANK YOU!
O, Satya -Seer, for all those times….
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=21pf4mxviLY&feature=related
Sending you all love!
Cheyenne
Cheyenne,
I have Satya-Seer to thank, for he is ever the instigator of connections that might not have occurred but for his blessed presence on this Earth, and more especially in this community.
Right off, I will admit to you that my first reaction to the brillance of this blog was -
envy
at the surge of appreciation that came your way because of your willingness to express such common human experiences, so honestly at the level of human emotions.
Yet, this morning in guided contemplation with Michael Bernard Beckwith's Life Visioning process (which I do weekly), fully openned to unconditional love, a response to your blog began to form in my mind. An authentic, yet skewed, response of a positive lean inspired by all the gracious replies you have given here to poster's comments. I tried to hold and capture these ephermeral words, to share with you, when -
that image of a mirror came into my mind
and I realized these beautiful words, which I wanted to utter to you, described my own self too and yet, for reasons common to most human beings, I was not owning them for my self.
Thank you for your healing love, so freely given here -
Deborah
Deborah, your response is so beautiful!!!! It brought to mind a poem I recently read:
Oneness
I am one with all things
- in beauty, in ugliness, for whatsoever is
- there I am.
Not only in virtue but in sin too I am a partner,
and not only heaven but hell too is mine.
Buddha, Jesus, Lao Tzu - it is easy to be their heir,
but Ghengis, Taimur, and Hitler?
They are also within me!
No, not half - I am the whole of mankind!
Whatsoever is man's is mine
- flowers and thorns, darkness as well as light,
and if nectar is mine, whose is poison?
Nectar and poison - both are mine.
Whoever experiences this I call religious,
for only the anguish of such experience
can revolutionize life on earth.
Otoons
In meditation practice much time is spent extinguishing the idea of self and other. Year after year, day after day, hour after hour meditating annihilating the thought of self and other….then it happens just as you said, you realize all is a mirror. All is a mirror. Every soul is reflected in you, you in every soul. Everthing in another is reflected in you..everything in you in another.
In some way it made the “other” so important to me…asking always “who are you? Tell me of you.” in their answering I learned of myself. What is mirrored is the experience of ourself. Isn't it mind boggling???!!!!
I wish we could have a long cup of tea and mirror each other all afternoon! Thank you dearly, Deborah!
I truly enjoyed your response!!!!
Much love,
Cheyenne
This is a great post!!! It is so true, that when we squelch ourselves, we not only squelch that little part of us, we hold back from the expression of ourself that this world so desparately needs. I would like to add though that self-sacrifice is also a part of human expression and is a part of accomplishing our dreams.
Thank you, Suig Dilis!!! I like what you added, yes.
I thought about what you wrote: “I would like to add though that self-sacrifice is also a part of human expression and is a part of accomplishing our dreams.”
Is it self-sacrifice or is it maturity? Seeing that your abilities, heart and desires have grown beyond the relationship and you hear a soul call so you turn to fullfil and learn of yourself by following your heart (?).
Self-sacrificing…Hmmm? you must make sure you are going to actually get something of value for it, yes? I see many, many self-sacrificing and nothing of value is returned. To the contrary….
I understand your words, Suigh Dilis!!! And I agree. I think I use the word 'discipline'. I often discipline myself to be able to experience a deeper aspect of myself.
Thank you sincerely for sharing! I wish you many blessings, both to you and to all that you express and acccomplish!
Much love,
Cheyenne
Oh Cheyenne, your writing brings such peace to my mind! We are often meant to feel shame for expressing and yes, we repress which makes us grow resentful and hurt; angry that we cannot be who we are. Yet, just as you said, as we open up to who we are, it's as if we learn communication and the true love builds and grows; it is accepting.
Thank you for sharing this.
O, Daydreamer, it is so good to see you!
“…we open up to who we are, it's as if we learn communication and the true love builds and grows; it is accepting.” So beautiful, yes!!!! It so healing, yes?
When you are not afraid of the person, not afraid they will degrade you for who you are, you can lose yourself…throw concern for the self away and become! Accepting ourselves….and the other!
Also the same healing comes when we lose concern for ourselves and completely enter the other. Feel them as deeply as possible. Even if it's just for a few minutes, totally absorbed in the other, it's like entering another dimension, another reality - heaven!
And I understand what you say…how often I say 'i'm sorry, i'm sorry…” for being me…feeling ashamed because I”m sort of a fruitcake sometimes! And the relief when the lover says…it's okay! no, iloveyou! Ah!
Thank you so much, Rachel!!!!
Much love to you!
Cheyenne
So true, Cheyenne! The “I'm sorry” route shows up often in life. If we cry in other aspects of our lives, aside from with our lovers, we (or at least I know I do) often apologize for shedding the tears. There is no shame in emotion! We are creatures of emotion, right?! What we feel is what we feel … and we were blessed with the ability to do so.
Always a pleasure to read your beautiful teachings!
Yes, Rachel! No shame….what can we do? harden ourselves, losing contact with our being.
It's beautiful that you still show who you are and are aware of yourself! The arrow hits deep inside and pain arises..so we cry! This is painful, this is me. I am often grateful as I myself will not know the pain was there. And a situation comes up, a question or statement and I feel the pain arising. I'm grateful..as I didn't even know it was hidden in my heart. It brings awareness and that is the greatest gift pain gives. Pain directs your attention to something that needs healing! And tears are very healing!
Thank you, Rachel!!!
Love,
Cheyenne
Yes Cheyenne, Awareness is all what it is and aloness is a reality even when
we are in a relationship.
From the earth to the sky reflecting all the colours of the raibow, embracing all, going deep, to realice that is no where to go. Just play, be in wonder like chield, cry when is tears, laugh, when is laughter and wait total in the present, like a lover wait for the beloved. AH!!, very still that we can hear
the foet steps getting closer …
One day seatting with UG. Khrisnamurty, hi say, we are no more important
that this mosquito that is fly now in the window, and we give so much impor-
tans to ourself. In that moment I didn't understand really what hi was say it.
Later on, with the time, I see that what hi say is very beautiful and enclose
the secret to be.
…….love, Chaitanyo
OH, Chaitanyo! Thank you so much!
Yes, whenever love is alive and the rainbow colors are reflected and we are dancing, it makes us feel so significant. To someone, one person, we matter, we are. It's the most beautiful feeling!
Then when it ends, when we are rejected, then I can well understand I'm as important as a mosquito or fly (!)….the pain, the sorrow, the ache makes one aware at a deep level. Such a deep transformation can happen there…..such a freedom.
And when you have been transformed, whatsoever happens after that, you can flow with it, you can drop over and over whatever has happened and continue to meet life anew.
Amazing! You sat with U. G. Krishnamurti! I'd love to hear about that sometime!!! Your experience!
Again, Chaitanyo, thank you dearly for sharing!!!!
Much love,
Cheyenne
Thank you for you comment, I see you are a women of depth and a loving
heart.
Life is very simple, the emotional life is complicate and the ego get very
confused with the emotional mind making thing more complicated.
In my heart always feel love is very simple and always there.
I have learned over the time to allow crack on the wall for That to come. And sometimes happen that I'm in the kitchen sitting there preparing something and for no reason like a lightening hit me and I find my self laughing almost falling from my chair, no way to control it and no reason to, such joy, just for to give a name, and them I continue peeling the potatoes. Or sometimes it comes in different forms. Mind can not go to that places. Thanks god for that!!!!
This kind of experience have make my life more simple and my heart more silence. And I can see the attachment with more transparency and sweetness, that sweetness make thing soft, and with a pinch of pepper make you smile and very life.
Setting with UG in his little room in Switzerland it was very, very…, how to say, you are totally in the unknown and feeling naked and hi just talk about mushroom soup and saying to people that hi doens't have anything to say and we should all go. Of course no body move……with a Master you never know
because hi is not interesting in be nice or say thing that you want to hear,
the simplicity is such that you can not touch it with our intellectual minds.
Another moment I will tell you a beautiful anecdote that happen bwetween my boyfriend and hin, a Zen situation.
For me, one day I ask hin what is consciousness and hi stop and look at me
like dragon and say that if I want to touch consciousness I will die, that is not possible to touch it, and continue, hi say that I have the intelengeces for understanding, I was paralize looking at hin it was so intense and at the end hi say, ANY WAY,
IS OF NOT IMPORTANS. And hi comeback to the mushroom soup.
We Laugh a lot. Hi didn't even look at me when I when, my ego was hurt. But few years a go when I got to know of hi die, and I was feeling that. In that moment happen the depth in wich hi touch my being.
Life is a mystery and is wonderful that is like that. We are really part of that
mystery, whatever we like or not. So is better to say YES and start play,
laugh, cry, have orgasm, intellectual orgasm, all kind of orgasm, and alow space of silence for the beloved to come. And remember that each of us is an individual and that we carrier the light
that want to shiny and we need to remember that when we are with
people whatever type of relation we have. Remember that we can no save
anybody, but we can love everbody and be sincere and the rest happen by it self.
If UG K. read this hi will say, shut up!!!!,
Much love Cheyene, thank you for being who you are.
Thanks Chi for your precious sharing,
Blessed IS,
Jeremias
Wow, Chi! That is amazing. And I laugh with a big smile…I can just hear it…'shut up.'…!
But sharing and communicating is so beautiful. Thank you for sharing this! I feel how you have been kissed and all your life! You know, of course, we have a mutual friend, and he speaks so highly of you and your life's practice and blessings of encounters with enlightened souls!
I am thrilled at your sharing. I could sit and listen to all your stories! I do enjoy them, like I was reading the Gita! I enjoy simple, complex, understood and mysterious encounters of truth!!! Just beautiful.
Thank you, Chi!!!!!
big HUG!
and much love,
Cheyenne