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July 2009 
Bleeding Love ~
Attainment
Pure love is a very small percentage of what one experiences in love affairs. A very small percentage is pure love. The larger part of love is fighting, insecurities, anger, jealousies, possessiveness. Before you can experience pure love, you must go through many purifications.
In love affairs, the larger part crushes the small percentage of pure love that is existing in the heart. And after a few experiences, after one has been burnt a few times, one becomes very weary, tired. One begins to feel it is not worth the hassle to enter and allow themselves to be in love again.
So to avoid love people start moving toward pure sex because sex does not give you the same problems, the same hassle. It seems far more convenient and you are not taken to such hells as you are in love. But of course you also do not experience the beauty of love.
To enter into sex with someone is easy. Being in love is not so easy. But that is because your heart is involved. And it is immensely significant when you start having your heart stir, when you are experiencing a true movement within your heart, because the heart is yours. The heart is what cannot be borrowed or sold. It is the gateway to your being. The head is not yours. It was given to you by society. The head is a utility, a good mechanism for survival. But you cannot enter yourself through it.
If you put an armour around your heart you block the emotions. Then the 'other', the lover, the friend remains distant. Even if there is sex, even if you say to one another 'I love you." There is no meeting. You remain isolated as ever. If you take that armour down your heart will melt, it will melt into the other, and the two hearts commune.
Everybody has suppressed so much emotion, so much hurt, resentment, sadness, pain, anger, sexuality. All these negative emotions crushing the love.
And it is only a matter of intelligence that we would be tired of this, feel the fear of entering again. We get very nervous. And we get nervous because love comes from the unconscious. And the unconscious is 99 percent of you. Only one percent is conscious. We try to stay in the one percent to avoid the 99. We are more comfortable staying with knowledge than with the unknown. And love arises from the deep unknown, from your unconscious and we don't know how to handle it. Yet this is where LIFE comes from. This is where the adventure comes from - entering the unknown - the unknown self.
This is why people become dull and dead. They are afraid of love, afraid of the unconscious. When the unconscious arises there so much confusion. Your nice orderly way of being is put into chaos. You cannot control the unconscious.
Allow it. Allow it. Otherwise you live life as a Pinochio...not yet a real boy.
And, of course it is good to have conscious control and order, it is good to have the head to maneuver. But also allow yourself to enter the unknown. LIfe consist of both. It takes a very courageous person to enter love, to allow the unconscious to rise. You must be willing over and over to allow. To enter love means to enter insecurity. You don't know what will arise. Yet if you remain aware you get wonderful opportunities every moment to purify your heart of all the other rubbish that is suppressed and one day you experience life with pure love. The one percent is now 99.
Then your love is open...
"What is truly needed is a circumcision of the heart." jesus
You have separated the wheat from the shaft.
Your heart
is open.
Your love is pure.
Access: Public
Nice… Grand…
Pure love is very distinctive; you know it when you care for nothing else of the world except the person you love; see a God in them…
I will add alittle fact to this blog… Pure love can be between a child and her mother; between a father and a son… just as a parent would do anything for his/her child… pure love is existent in any true relationship…
I'm listening to Ravi Shankar; playing the sitar…
Madison Square Gardens: Aug, 1971 (jump to mark 2.22 - the song starts there onwards)
I will be bold to say that even love for an instrument; any instrument is proof that you have played it for many years; and have gone through endless rehearsals and insecurities and betrayals to play the instrument right…
so… ;-) Good for you if you can play an instrument… you are a better lover…
Besides; the Kamasutra says that a man well versed in arts is desired more by a woman. Just repeating something from the manual of love… ;-)
Besides … sex is worthless without the love… it's like printing money without paying attention to monetary policies; without it's importance according to the value of the assets and the liabilities of a country; without respect for other foreign markets… printing more of it will just make it valueless at the end. Sex is valueless without commitment; without honor, without love… and many other qualities needed to make it 99 percent…
Speaking of which… Nothing is concrete as such of this world… what we may fall in love with in the first place is a test by God… or a stepping stone if you will; and hence; there remains a conundrum; on whether to love the experience being presented to us or just be a spectator…
One thing i have learnt is that; taking the hand of God in your everyday life; asking Him; praying and meditating on Him; really does make it easy; He is a gullible one that cares for us all; hides away in our hearts; the one place where no one bothers to look for answers ;-)
He loves being loved with humility… and cares more for those children that are more humble… trust me… in the case of spending your life with a person out of a billion + “Possible love relationships” you need more then your gut feeling.
Great Post as always ~
O, thank you, Janak, for adding the love of a child, a wife or husband, friend…instrument!!!!!
As I was sitting on the floor with my child I was feeling just what you wrote. Certainly not only a lover…thank you so much for your words.
OH, experiencing those high peaks of love and then to be dropped to such low. When you are high this way, you also go so deep. That's what is so beautiful, the depth of being when in love. Life is 3-D…life seen through love - and other times when love has been lost it can be so two dimensional.
The sex, as you say, does not give the depth that love gives. It does still give some sort of high, yes? But it is only chemical.
The love of god!!!! O, this to me is when your love is 100%, then you experience god! You make no distinction between the love and god. I have felt this many times. Oh, the arduous travel for the soul that 'needs' god.
I consider 'love' a very pure path. If your awareness lacks love then something is missing in it. Your awareness is not pure, coming from the self. It is more like a concentration, then pure awareness. Actually, too that love is not pure without awareness…they go together. Love and awareness makes it pure.
I feel love as home, Janak. And I also appreciate sexuality as one bridge to love. I am not against sexuality…but not as a replacement. This I notice often, sex being used to avoid true contact. In a love affair, I personally want the person…their thoughts and heart, what they think and feel…oh, can I say, that makes me so hot! (big smile)…when someone shares themselves, I call that love. And even in a friend or child…their opening themselves gives me a feeling of utter wonder. I get lost in them…amazed.
In the Course in Miracles it is written: Love is Communication. I so agree!!!!
Thank you, CrudeBliss for your wonderful comment!!! I feel how love has touched you. And your love for God touches me!!!!
Thank you!
Sincerely and with love,
Cheyenne
@ Attainment: but now the big question is, What is pure love in your eyes? What makes pure love different from other forms of love?
I can relate to the hurt and not want to become involved with this again. I suppose that could be a good reason to send some extra love to yourself, if it is you that is hurt.
Dear Reneedamstra,
I understand the hurt. Once I was in love and it abruptly ended. It took well over a year before I could breathe into my chest without wishing I could cut my heart out so I didn't have to feel the pain. And that year was spent in honoring myself, the pain I felt. It was like living in intensive care…I did not allow anyone to touch my soul, me. I stayed so to myself, nurturing and waiting till I was free of the pain. But magically after a year and a few months, ah, it disappeared. Oh! good…! Now back to life!
And pure love feels like compassion. It is different than other forms of love because it is not ill, destructive. There's a coolness in it. It feel creative and healing, and an awareness, a wisdom with it….deep coolness and understanding.
And oddly with pure love you never really feel 'hurt.' There's an acceptance, a deep acceptance of yourself and the other.
I give with all my heart and strength in love, yet at the same time I now well understand that tomorrow that it might change. And that's so okay..it's okay. For there's a deep gratitude for the love shared for the day, the season it was there.
Well…Reneedamstra! That's what purifying my heart has felt like to me, in my eyes. I know it continues to grow and expand…but what PURE love looks like, I might have to get back to you on that (big wink and smile).
I send you love! And thank you for your post.
Cheyenne
I always loved this fable by Abji Bapa:
THere is a train…
there is a sack of sugar…
there is a porter dragging the sack across the station
there is an ant
and… there is a donkey…
when the sake is being dragged; the ant can taste the sugar… it literally fills itself up to its heart content… full of bliss; content to its desire… it is full of tranquility.
Now there is this donkey… it never gets to taste the sugar… never gets to feel the bliss; to even feel; let alone full in tranquility… why…?
coz the ant is an ant; and the donkey is a big @$$; big on ignorance; self praise; egoistic; ummm full of the 7 sins in short; lust; anger; greed; infatuation etc…
Pure Love can only be felt when we belittle ourselves… make ourselves humble; vunarable like an ant; and sometimes… that is also a risk that we take… when loving someone of the world…
Pure love; if you ask me; has to be with God… for it's His creations; we are… and if we don;t live for or love Him first; what message are we sending Him…
;-) i was just thinking of writing a new blog titled…
May we stop the love affair's with the world
and i guess it will be less jazzy coz you are reading its punch ;-)
i am sad to learn of what you went through for a year like that Cheyenne; but the one thing i know is that; i will never love a person less; because i love God first… that is a very important lesson that i have learnt… to keep Him first… yet play the loosing game… i use the word loosing because we are going to pass away one day… and i use the word game because life is just that; to win happiness; wealth; health; etc with respect to set rules and guidelines of Dharma.
May we stop the love affair's with the world
I look forward to your comments there… give me a day to cook it ;-)
Ooh i love cooking… and playing the sitar and …
OK blowing my own horn; hence growing into an @$$…
belittling again…
… compassion
.. pious
. simplicity
feeling content
ahhh An ant in bliss again.
;-)
Janak, this is beautiful. Yes, the higher the mountain the lower the valley. A great mountain is surrounded by a deep low valley to support it. A mountain cannot be great, high, without low valleys. It is good to be a valley. When you are a valley, the peak of the divine can pour down into you. But if you are an ego, a peak, everything just pours off of you. The same with the Master and the disciple…the same with between lovers.
If you humble yourself to the Master, he/she can pour their love, truth, down into you. And with love….O, Janak, that is so beautiful! yes…..
I saw this with my children…it seems as parents we are 'higher.' But I found that no one is ever higher in a lover affair. How many times I have humbled myself before my children to feel their gentle hands touch me…touch me with such awareness. No one can touch you like a child. So gentle, so aware, so present. Humbled to tears….
Love is pure when there is no dependence. It's when your happiness depends on the other that love cannot be pure…because hate too is involved when you depend. You hate them because your happiness depends on them.
When you meditate you become more sensitive and from that sensitivity you become less attached. And you are less attached because you are grounded in yourself, you are centered in yourself and you do not make someone else your center. You are centered in yourself. Then love comes as a pure gift with no conditions. But when you make someone else the center, the demands, the dependence destroys the love.
Janak! You play the sitar (big smile)!….oh, how I wish I could hear you play.
And you cook! I bet it is amazing cooking…you are not an @$$! No, you are a beautiful man!
I enjoyed deeply what you brought today. It has filled me…or shall I brought me low into the valley..humbled by your divine gifts and love of god…
Thank you so much, Janak!
Love,
Cheyenne
Perhaps the truth in any love is comparing it to peace.
As the fire of passion, both highs and lows, burn, we know that true, pure love is all, and as such, only exists in Peace. Without Peace, somewhere in the fires of illusions burning away, nothing would be left in the end.
In a sense we are seeking a higher Peace in the pursuit of pure love, devoid of the illusions that cripple us. Peace is the Rock on which the 'life' grows. The Rock dances with the Spirit of fire, air and water, each creating new beautiful meaning, alive and never still, pushing against each other, and where, despite the storm, we always know there is Peace in the foundation of the relationship, so the love can be passionate, high and low, and love a journey back to where we began, and where we truly are now, needing others' illusions like two logs that are needed for a fire, to create the furnace of heat, that purifies All.
Peace and love cannot be separated. Too often we forget peace, misinterpreting it as the illusion, the high. Too often we just want the love. Love fails, faith and trust fails, when we forget that love cannot exist without Peace as its foundation, somewhere, so we can take the flames, knowing it always leads to higher Peace in the end.
Nia:wen, great teacher :-)
Gray Owl
O, that's beautiful!
“needing others' illusions like two logs that are needed for a fire, to create the furnace of heat, that purifies ALL.” THIS says it, Gray Owl!
People at times have been taken back by my way because I constantly seek the darkness of others…need it somehow…thrive and grow from what is dark in them. My whole drive at times is for the man to become woman, for me to become man…for the darkness to feed us so we grow in strength and light.
And your perfect statement about peace and love. I call it silence….when you are silent, you feel a presense of great, great love. I just took a short vacation alone, no radio, tv, no speaking, just myself in hotel room for days silent, eating fruit and nuts…just sitting and the deep silence felt like a great overwhelming love. I began acting like a small child, overwhelmed with love and happiness, crazy almost, just being silent and everything that is sought is felt in the silence of your being.
I reflect often how people are killing themselves and others for what is easy felt within themselves, just only if they can somehow, by means of some practice, become silent.
What a perfectly written post, Gray Owl!
Thank you!
Love,
Cheyenne