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Exposing Our Deepest Feelings & Vulnerabilities Takes Great Trust
To be willing to expose our deepest feelings and vulnerability takes great trust. It takes great inner strength, and courage. Courage to know that even if the other betrays you, you will remain open. It is beautiful to trust.
Beautiful...and difficult. But if you look deeply into the difficulty, you will see it is not exactly that you do not trust. If you watch you will find it is simply a lack of courage. Then things can be different. When you know it is fear - not distrust - then you can decide to have courage. And remember always, it is natural to feel this fear. It exists in everybody. So don't label yourself as a coward. The fear of the unknown exists in everybody. One simply has to go slowly and move beyond the known. Having the courage to step forward...you can always come back (big smile!) (with a little knowledge and experience!)
Everyone is in this catch 22...without trust we feel fear..which again fuels our distrust and lack of courage. So the first thing we must do to be able to trust is accept yourself. Accept yourself fully. If you can come to accept yourself fully, you will not be concerned about respect, you will not need to worry about saving your face. You can be trusting, just as an innocent child. And what does it mean to be trusting as an innocent child? It means you are showing the highest kind of love - trust. It is the purest love. It is uncontaminated love - uncontaminated by any desire.
But you can only do this if you are not thinking about consequences. Do not bother about what will happen, just be willing to act according to your own being, to your own spontaneity. You must have the courage to move beyond society and what they have told you what is 'right'. But if you trust someone with a motive, it is not trust...you will become fearful again. You are using the person. If you think by trusting someone you will attain happiness, then you will not be able to trust. You are using them. They have become a means to an end. That is not very respectful. Just live moment to moment...with no outcome in mind. Then not the outcome, but the trust is the bliss...just the act of trusting gives one a feeling of blissfullness.
With practice and experience, you will come to say anything and everything you feel, sincerely - with no concern of consequences. Even if you feel the fear, the hesitation, all it takes is a little courage. And you can also encourage the other person to be intimate. Your openess will help the other person also to be open.
What you will come to find out is that not only were you feeling fear, so was the other..not only are you concerned about your weakness, but the other too has weaknesses -you will begin to feel more trusting, less as strangers.
And always remember that everything that is beautiful, precious is also only momentary. We want to cling, hold on and make every precious moment permanent. It simply cannot be. Always know perfectly well that tomorrow cannot be promised. What you know, what you share with someone is precious because it is momentary. We become very frustrated when we try to cling. And when we become frustrated, a distance grows between you, you begin fighting...and what was meant to be beautiful, to be moments of happiness just become one big long misery (laughing!).
But if you can become unafraid of being intimate with someone, it can become a great transformation. You begin to become not only unafraid of the other, but most importantly, you become unafraid of yourself. You begin to drop everything that you once were ashamed of. You realize your own beauty. You realize life...!
To become intimate and trust someone means that the doors of your heart are open. It means that you welcome another to be a guest. You are allowing each other to be innocent as children, no fear...just opening yourself to be seen, as you are.
Beautiful...and difficult. But if you look deeply into the difficulty, you will see it is not exactly that you do not trust. If you watch you will find it is simply a lack of courage. Then things can be different. When you know it is fear - not distrust - then you can decide to have courage. And remember always, it is natural to feel this fear. It exists in everybody. So don't label yourself as a coward. The fear of the unknown exists in everybody. One simply has to go slowly and move beyond the known. Having the courage to step forward...you can always come back (big smile!) (with a little knowledge and experience!)
Everyone is in this catch 22...without trust we feel fear..which again fuels our distrust and lack of courage. So the first thing we must do to be able to trust is accept yourself. Accept yourself fully. If you can come to accept yourself fully, you will not be concerned about respect, you will not need to worry about saving your face. You can be trusting, just as an innocent child. And what does it mean to be trusting as an innocent child? It means you are showing the highest kind of love - trust. It is the purest love. It is uncontaminated love - uncontaminated by any desire.
But you can only do this if you are not thinking about consequences. Do not bother about what will happen, just be willing to act according to your own being, to your own spontaneity. You must have the courage to move beyond society and what they have told you what is 'right'. But if you trust someone with a motive, it is not trust...you will become fearful again. You are using the person. If you think by trusting someone you will attain happiness, then you will not be able to trust. You are using them. They have become a means to an end. That is not very respectful. Just live moment to moment...with no outcome in mind. Then not the outcome, but the trust is the bliss...just the act of trusting gives one a feeling of blissfullness.
With practice and experience, you will come to say anything and everything you feel, sincerely - with no concern of consequences. Even if you feel the fear, the hesitation, all it takes is a little courage. And you can also encourage the other person to be intimate. Your openess will help the other person also to be open.
What you will come to find out is that not only were you feeling fear, so was the other..not only are you concerned about your weakness, but the other too has weaknesses -you will begin to feel more trusting, less as strangers.
And always remember that everything that is beautiful, precious is also only momentary. We want to cling, hold on and make every precious moment permanent. It simply cannot be. Always know perfectly well that tomorrow cannot be promised. What you know, what you share with someone is precious because it is momentary. We become very frustrated when we try to cling. And when we become frustrated, a distance grows between you, you begin fighting...and what was meant to be beautiful, to be moments of happiness just become one big long misery (laughing!).
But if you can become unafraid of being intimate with someone, it can become a great transformation. You begin to become not only unafraid of the other, but most importantly, you become unafraid of yourself. You begin to drop everything that you once were ashamed of. You realize your own beauty. You realize life...!
To become intimate and trust someone means that the doors of your heart are open. It means that you welcome another to be a guest. You are allowing each other to be innocent as children, no fear...just opening yourself to be seen, as you are.
A gift beyond measure; to realize nothing could possibly be inadequate about a human being. We are exceedingly marvelous and wonderful. It is only fitting that we grow fully into a bloosoming flower fully lit with inner light right into eachother!
I love you Cheyenne, thank you for shining in me!
Yes, to be fully spontaneous and intimate and authentic and free to express whatever comes up! I love how you say this. We are marvelous, as Jeanne just said. I remember (about a year or two ago) having to move through fear after fear to express myself. But the fears “weren't true”. They were simply energies to be moved through. To be able to be unafraid, to express ourselves…we get so scared that someone might chide us for that expression. But, so what? If our heart is open, the chiding comes, and we just keep moving, keep allowing the river-waters to flow. We don't need to be afraid…
The uncomplicated and yet shooting right towards the core - kind of writing just keeps on coming. A miracle to my eyes and ears. Thank you once again Cheyenne.
Jeannie!…big hug. I sincerely see you as a Beautiful Angel!
“….nothing could possibly be inadequate about a human being.”
What a beautiful statement….!
You know, you can know very well that nothing is wrong..
but just knowing that does not necessarily transform your life.
you can know what is right, but it does not mean it will come into being. It remains in the mind. It remains knowledge, a feeling.
Growth comes when you learn it through your whole being. You must learn it through a situation. In a situation your totality is called in, your totality is challenged.
The Course In Miracles says that Love is Communication. It is the truest statement I know.
I feel what you say, Jeannie…. “We are exceedingly marvelous and wonderful.” “It is only fitting that we grow fully into a blossoming flower fully.”
Yes! It is only fitting!
(big smile!)..I love you too, Jeannie! oh, Thank YOU, for shinning into me.
with love,
Cheyenne
Kathy! Good Day!!!
I know what you speak of…those energies. They can even become deformities!
YOU!….you just keep on moving!!! I like this very much!..(laughing!) I can see this!
Very often this fear becomes a holding. We cannot give, we only possess. What good is a self, if you cannot give it? I feel we have completely lost the language of sharing. And unless we share we lose something of ourselves. We hold and hold and hold until that holding becomes a grave.
GAIA is a great gift, to me, for this very reason…a place for people to share, to express and open to one another in trust and love, growing through the challenges! What an amazing place!
It is a place we can learn…that the fears simply “weren't true.”
YOU are not afraid, Kathy! You are an open flower! Thank you so so much for sharing!
with love!
Cheyenne
Nion! Thank you!…
Yes! It is uncomplicated - simple.
Very simple…! The work is that one can intellectually understand this - it is simple. But the problem is that people are not simple. To understand simplicity, you need to have simplicity of the heart. If you try to figure out and analyze, understanding will elude you. One can intellectually hear it…but still miss this extraordinary beauty of becoming vulnerable and open. Simplicity is often obscure! Only the pure can understand that which has come out of purity.
A miracle to my eyes and ears!…Oh, Nion!!! Thank you again!
with love!
Cheyenne
Che,
Deepest trust equals beeing free of fear and doubt. its about loosing face. But gaining communion with the matrix of life and light. With the heart of reality. In the confession of utter vulnerability.
Beyond the opposites of light and dark. Totally immersed in the play of the mystery. Without motive, yes. Like in a Sufi Dikr withn another person and with ones own self simultaneously. With the difference that the whole verbal sphere is involved. And any gesture emrging within the bodymind.
Like running over the fire or becoming the fire. When no difference is left anymore.
And, as the shamans say:
Make the right distance to fire in respect. If you have no respect, let it be. If you have too much respect, let it be too. Jump into the middle.
Thanks Che for this special contemplation..
Albert
Oh, Albert, yes! Thank you!
The Shamanic journey! I was raised with bunch of crazy shamans!…I never really understood it until I was long gone and grown up…until I heard my own howl and desire to resolve that which ached in me. And though I never felt comfortable going home again, I still found a way to do my own trance-dance (smile!)…every single day is a vision quest - each moment a purifying ceremony! I see what people call the 'real world' as a dream. It exists only, to me, to be the stage, the background to the timeless reality that exists parallel and out of sight of the world. In the nonmanifest world, the world of spirit, all the hidden causal interactions take place! It is the most exciting to me to open this door and see with an expanded vision.
Understanding is not enough..we must experience the effects of past traumas and desires. A hidden seed undeveloped pressed down and within…so much in one lifetime can be explored! This is the purpose of life to me. This spiritual development is the most important work we can accomplish.
What I enjoy the most about it, is the ritual..the ceremony. Such wonderful role playing. I enjoy this the most…when you can be a man..be it! Do not think you are playing, and you become a man! You are a man! Or if you are playing a virgin, a whore, a wild animal, a wounded soul, inner child, magician, trickster - you can become these! They are there inside of you and you can put on the clothes and transform so perfectly that you gain all the gifts hidden in the seed..all the gifts become part of your conscious living!
Empowering ourselves should not be that complicated. It is a matter of play! It is matter of truth!…and love. And love.
It is about saying 'Yes!' to life and embracing it..embracing everything that comes..freeing ourselves of the chains of limitation that are either cultural, family or self imposed.
“Beyond the opposites of light and dark. Totally immersed in the play of the mystery. Without motive..”
Laughingly, I certainly understand your words about there being no difference ~ pain, gain, lose, love, hate…it all feels the same to me. A fire!…it burns me, I burn…consume..consumed! The dance of life!
Thank You Dearly Albert!
with love,
Che
The dance of life as you phrased it is quite wonderful when we feel pain, love, panic, hate driving the emotions crazy and we're moving in and between different states of mind..These simple emotions are so complex and can either destroys you or consumes you into that realm of bliss..finding just one soul to trust with your life and to touch your soul is a marvelous thing…we should seek to fidn that one trust….
With Love
Rory
Wow, Rory, that's beautiful!
And yes! A person will become neurotic if they cling and become addicted to one pole. Bliss has a polarity, as all phenomenons have polarity. People become addicted to one emotion and do not want the other…therein lies the destruction, the complexity, the neurosis.
Simply do not choose love against hate then you will not have any trouble.
Pain is part of bliss
hate is part of love
Let hate have its way - let love have its way. You just remain in the middle and don't move to extremes. If you move to an extreme that is when you feel the panic, you become afraid of the 'other' extreme. Because that which someone has chosen cannot remain alone - it depends on the other.
Everyone's so-called love depends on hate…it is rhythm.
To be total is beautiful. In Zen I learned from a beautiful Master. He said, always know suffering is burning your ego to gold. Do not move! Remain with it! And without doing anything, you will be transformed. OH! He was so right. And I love him eternally for this one truth alone! I am strange because I LOVE suffering!…When I feel it, a smile comes onto my face..I whisper..'ah, the ego is being transformed…I am deepening my soul! wonderful!'
Just always remember, Sweet Rory, whenever you open that door, remember that the enemy will also enter with the friend. If you want only the friend, it will become impossible. You will have to close the door….
Friend and foe, if one looks deeply, are the same being.
I see many people who want bliss (!)…oh, yes, they want bliss. The sign up list for bliss is full….But not the list for suffering. Only one who is willing sign up on the deeeeeeeppp suffering list will know bliss. I was just laughing with a friend. He told me he daily prays for my health. I said, “You do what!? Stop that! Pray for my death. Nothing is ever learned in health, wealth and happiness. When my death comes close and I am deeply suffering those are the moments I can realize!” And then I went on to tell him, “I pray for your death!..Just this morning, I was praying you would have a near-death experience! Only then do I believe you will awaken.” He was like…hey, hey now! I'm not ready for this!…oh, we laughed.
And the one other thing that stood out to me about your post was…”finding JUST ONE SOUL to trust with you life….” ooohhhh, when I saw this, I felt 'hmmmm.' No…this is trouble. Always “To whom it may concern!” I have seen a lot of pain and even suicide over people believing foolishly, childishly..that they could find THE ONE…there is no one! There are many..many (!)..and only many can complete you. You are many..no ONE could do it.
Someone I like very much wrote something that made me laugh….he said, “It takes a village to raise a child. And it takes the whole world to raise an adult.” - something like this. It gave me a big laugh, because i know the truth of this.
Trust NO ONE…just trust! That is the point. Trust will transform you. Trust just because it is transformative to do this….it is called talking a leap of trust..going always into the unknown. If you trust, it is not worthy of growth..anyone can do it. Do it when you do not trust…then it is transformative!
Thank you dearly dearly, Rory!
with love!
Cheyenne
Only this moment
Dear Chaitanyo! thank you…! I sat silent with those three words..so perfect!
“Only this moment.” You are existence.
oh, but the personality creates a deception, makes you feel separate. Existence gives you total freedom, even against itself. And that is the barrier that holds one back from melting into this very moment.
And when I say 'personality', it does not mean you must get rid of you. It means the you that you are not. It means the you you think you are.
The false you will not know 'only this moment,' no matter how many Eckhart Tolle classes you take!
Thank you, Chaitanyo!
with love!
Cheyenne
Awesome Che! I enjoyed and I am inspired by your post on trust!!! To trust
is to open the gateway of emotions, thoughts, hopes, dreams and even our
pain to another, to the world, to all creation. Courage to feel all that may
come our way is so essential. When I am courageous, it does not mean that I
do not feel any more fear, it means that my actions are not determined by
this fear. As I read your words about trust, thoughts kept coming to me
about who we are trusting. In a friendship or intimate relationship, to
open ourselves to share we need to trust this friend or lover. But at a
level up, I have found to open up fully, I not just trust the lover, I trust
love itself. Higher still I trust the process of life, that for me to be
real and experience who I really am, I need to trust to open up all the way.
Let it all hang in the wind (smile). You say it so well here:
“Do not bother about what will happen, just be willing to act according to
your own being, to your own spontaneity. You must have the courage to move beyond society and what they have told you what is 'right'.”
Lovers and friends will betray and abuse trust. I have met very few people
that are conscious enough not to do this. But the process is not served by
closing up and protecting, it is served by opening up to love and trust
again. It helps to be the bold romantic that is in love with love itself!
Then when my partner resonates with this love, it is an excruciatingly
beautiful dance of shared and personal pleasure and pain. If my lover
rejects me and turns me away, this part of the dance is over, but my love
goes on. And so I dance alone out on the dance floor until another partner
wants to dance with me. Each dance and each partner grows richer in the
experience of shared love, compassion, passion, and freedom to open the
wings of our soul and fly. And fly away they will, to hold on is to cause
intense pain.
Oh, I learned this the hard way with my fiancée a few years back. As the time approached for our marriage, it became painfully obvious to me that she did not love me, but she loved the freedom and fun that my money gave her. To her, I was just a means of exchange. But she faked her love for me so well
over a year and I thought her love was real and I kept flowing stronger and
stronger with my love. Soon after his realization, the relationship ended.
I was heartbroken, financially wreaked, beating myself up for not reading
the signs earlier, ashamed that my financial condition would hurt my kids,
and on my website and AMAZON.COM was my second book which was full of love poems I wrote for this woman. Basically and logically, I loved a woman that did not exist. So did my love exist? Oh yes, it was very real. My shame
and pain was before the world, do I take this book off the internet? No.
Because every word and every emotion that I shared was real. My shame and my pain were my own to process and I realized they were the products of my our conditioned judgment, my heart break was real and was a gift from the Tao for me to feel, my love was before the world and I allowed it to stay before the world.
This is the way with many of the gifts of our expression. It doesn’t matter
if someone throws it in the mud and steps all over it, this does not devalue
it. The value is in the open and flowing giving. It is not for us to judge
our own gifts, it is for us to give them and express them. And by the way
Cheyenne, your gifts are amazing!
Love,
Sajan
My dear Cheyene, you know how to make the mind speak, I'm smiling
Only this moment, have come from a deep meditation,
Only this moment, we can touch
our vulneravelity and the other, Only in this moment we die to the past and future,
Only in this moment we are continuesly diying,
and be rebornd, Only in this moment we love,
Only in this moment we can sufer or be sad, Only in this moment is silence, Only in this moment I'm alone, Only in this moment I'm sharing with you
I don't have nothing to do with Eckart Toll or his teachings.
Only in this moment I love you, and please let me love you totaly now, vulnerable, open that I can be alive and strong with the winds.
Big smiling, I know you are smiling in this moment, in this moment we are one,
Chaitanyo
Sajan! You have such energy!!!!! I can just see you on this dance floor!…dancing sometimes wild, sometimes slow….sometimes just standing..then a smile, and the dance continues.
You have a beautiful heart!!!!
and, oh yes…we project our romantic ideas onto another's face, onto another's body…and then when reality hits, we feel betrayed. We betrayed reality. I did this with my husband. His face is so beautiful..unbelievable really. And I projected everything a woman could onto his face…poor man. Who could live up to this?…..and in time, reality shows itself - and we feel betrayed. Nobody betrayed us. Reality will soon burst upon the illusion. No one was born to live out our fantasies. I loved the fantasy that I had projected onto this man's face and charm - I didn't know the man. Then the shattering! I had the task of learning to love the person, the flaws, the ugliness, the pain - it is the opposite story of the frog and the prince. You marry a prince and find out it is frog!….what a beautiful story. Frogs are beautiful..they crock and are wet and slimmy!…riiiiibt….
It is good to love ordinary people.
I have been betrayed deeply deeply by my father, husband, lover….but really no. My dreams were betrayed by Reality. Reality can be hard!….but nothing has gone wrong.
I was speaking to my father just a few days ago…his life has been one big long hell really - to me anyway. And he said, “you know, no one was ever promised a good life. It is what it is.” Yes, daddy…it is what it is. His acceptance awoken me somehow.
I sang him a song: “I beg your pardon…..I never promised you a rose garden…..” He laughed.
The shame we feel is often that our ego has been injured. It is humliating to face I am unloved, used, rejected and stupid (laughing!). I wanted to die when I felt that once….but something clicked in me…that I had such low self-esteem that my dependence on another determines my life. Seeing how dependent I had become was an awakening…that no. I would grow. I will grow to become a woman. Not a little girl. I thanked him. And for many years, my beautiful husband had to face me shooting him a finger whenever he looked at me…and I would smile and whisper to him…'fuck you.' And when i didn't need his love to feel loved, we became again dear friends.
And exactly what you say, Sajan…(!)..It doesn’t matter
if someone throws it in the mud and steps all over it, this does not devalue it. The value is in the open and flowing giving. It is not for us to judge our own gifts, it is for us to give them and express them.
Just Perfect! Thank you soooo very much for sharing! And I have read some of this poetry….It is stunning, Sajan! I remember when I read it, my heart was pounding…I felt…wow! - this is so passionate and alive! You write beautiful, beautiful poetry! I am so happy that the world received your love!
Thank you, Sajan!
All my love,
Cheyenne
Maybe when I wrote the song ” Dancing in my mind” - now I am not sure what state of mind I was in…lol…But it was meant for a meditative journey into yourself and to find a deep trust there…in the core of yoru soul…Take a listen:
http://www.myspace.com/roryjagdeo
http://www.reverbnation.com/roryjagdeo
Oh, Chaitanyo! You do know how to make me smile.
I listened to your words like one listens to a Zen master whom you've sat before for hours in silence and suddenly he begins to say the words that you echoed - … Only this moment, we can touch our vulnerability and the other.. Only in this moment we die…..and penetrating words awaken you to bliss, to truth!!!
so beautiful…..I take you on a journey…sit, close your eyes.
I come to you feet..vibrating into them the sound of 'a'…….open your body to me.
Empty your soul…
coming to your calves empty your mind of all pride….shhhhhhh empty
into your thighs empty your mind of creation - tell it all go.
moving into your buttocks, know there is no deception - all is truth.
then open your sex and feel that it has no particular way.
moving to relax deep into the belly feel..suchness…shhhhh..
relaxing all the abdomen, know self has no particular adobe, release yourself from this house, let yourself feel expanded.
Feel as I touch up your spine and whisper - you are in no particular location.
in your chest feel that your existence is like a bubble…
nudging under your arms..feel there is no such thing as 'giving.' all is full.
down your arms - existence has no speech….become speechless..
into the hands feel there is no inherent existence.
and in the neck…no purpose to life
feel your tongue as I whisper - there is no birth or death
your lips…you are the slayer of illusion
your cheeks..you are the conqueror
your ears…unbind all binding
your eyes…you are the magnetizer
your eyes brows…phenomenon has no particular characteristic.
at your crown I tap and chant…na..na…..na….ma
Empty….
emptiness marries bliss.
in this moment of emptiness I kiss you in places that bring you pleasure…let the bliss of the pleasure permeate your emptiness…allow yourself to feel the bliss and the emptiness…marry them together….feel them as one. let your body shake, let it be…satchitanada.
this is being the moment.
Only in this moment I love you, and please let me love you totally now, vulnerable, open that I can be alive and strong with the winds.
chi- chi…..shanti shanti om. and a big big smile!..
thank you, Chaitanyo!
with all my love!
cheyenne
Rory! Your music is beautiful!….so is your voice. How you play two instruments simultaneously is fascinating!
Music comes closest to meditation! Just behind the music, just one step behind the music and you enter the door. Listening, playing, becoming the music..the listener becomes the listened to…
No observer, no one to appreciate it…just sound, echoing as the soul.
So beautiful, Rory!
Thank you!!
with love,
Cheyenne
“and, oh yes…we project our romantic ideas onto another's face, onto another's body…and then when reality hits, we feel betrayed. We betrayed reality.”
Absolutamente! Oh I have projected alright! I projected more than a parking lot full of search lights at the grand opening of the latest super warehouse store! And my errors were more far reaching than this, my heart was real but my mind was not aware and was full of false beliefs and I betrayed myself and reality.
Awareness, Awareness, Awareness. The meeting of our hearts and minds WITH reality. Getting real! Knowing real, being real! This is have been my crash course! When we can know what is real, then we can be real and our love becomes more real, more clear, more pure.
The three amigos…. Awareness, trust, love
Dear dear Sajan!…
It only shows your beauty…that you have been betrayed. All lovers feel betrayed. The magic we felt is suddenly gone, and we feel betrayed.
That 'magic' came because we became aware of a different world. In this world there are many worlds. We became aware 'in love' of a different world, and we feel asleep to that world and we feel betrayed. The lover is only an excuse..is a door to enter this other world. Every lover feels betrayed by the beloved. Feeling lost to the world they entered. Just moments ago, we felt a beauty, sound was different, colors were brighter..we entered another world. It is always there. It is real. It is as real as any other world in the worlds…we fell asleep to this world…and we feel betrayed.
Two places we feel very betrayed…love and death. In either place you awaken to another world. If death suddenly grips you, you will awaken into love…and love grips you you die to the world you were living in.
So what can we do? we can either be open to it or closed to it. The question isn't whether a lover is there or not. A lover can be helpful..a reason can help..it is easier sometimes if we have 'something', 'someone' to trust. But they are not necessary. If you just trust, then you open. If you distrust, then you remain closed. This is the key. If you want to open to the unknown then you will have to be in trust…in love. If you do not want to be open then you can remain closed - but nobody is missing anything except for us, no one is at a loss except for us.
Three amigos…sex, love and death - they open a door to another world within a world within a world. from the known, to the unknown…to the unknowable.
sex…love…death….they bring us to different world..when we lose this world, we feel betrayed. but no one betrayed us. We can enter it anytime we wish. The door is always open…
Romance is beautiful, Sajan…it opens the door. We just must remember not to leave it just because our guest passed out.
If you're not the one…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s-ql6YC0gJM
It is beautiful to be romantic!
with love!
Cheyenne
“Romance is beautiful, Sajan…it opens the door. We just must remember not to leave it just because our guest passed out.”
You know Che, I haven't loved a passed-out guest since my college days (Juuuuuuust Kidding, smile)! Look at the big talker, I was a virgin until 24! (smile).
Seriously, this is so important Che. The lover can lead us to the door but it is up to us to stay inside and make this our way of our life, our way of being, our Way. And when we “just trust,” we don't just trust a little, or trust with caveats, we trust all the way. It is takes opening up all the way to experience that we are all that is.
I do like your three amigos, love, sex, death, and I like how you say
“they open a door to another world within a world within a world. from the known, to the unknown…to the unknowable.”
I am especially interested in the “unknown to the unknowable part.” Where the ego makes its last stand and entrenches its position with the nervous system, within the brow, trying to block the third eye. It whirls around the mind and then hides again. It pulls at the heart inspiring its fear of the unknown and its even greater fear that the being will walk through the door and witness its own divine nature. The only thing we fear more than death is the full understand that we are god. And so this insideous life-preserver within with make angels look like demons and angels like demons just so we will not allow it to die.
And so we are back to the trust. The trust that though all the fear and anxiety that may panic the body, through the tears that blur our sight, through the spectre of death of all that we know, we walk, through the fire of our falsehoods burning way, we trust, open, moving ever forward.
and this is so beautiful! because of open, aware, trust.
with love,
Sajan
Ha!!…o, Sajan..that's funny. I should not say it. But this happened to me with a love…he took me to a Halloween party when I was young and I was not used to this drinking…Oh - and in the morning I was mess. I said to him, “what is this?” He told me! And I said to him: “You Bastard!..Well, you are going to do it again! So I know something of it!” We lived together for nine years afterwards!….he was very good to me! But the relationship had a very very tragic ending. One I can't even speak of.
But, seriously..as you say - wow, Sajan. You are such a fine practitioner! Really the best! Your words always reflect the reality of one practicing rightly.
Sajan, enlightenment is chattering at first…and though 'enlightenment' itself in the first stages of realization is not shattering, the mind, the emotions, the memories, the nervous system feel very confused, shocked and dismayed. How can one come to terms with the fact that their life, their body, all their desires, all that they've ever felt was true…is not true, is not permanent, is not self, is not important. It takes time to adjust…this is what sitting practice and mental contemplation, and learning is for…so one can have an adjusted enlightenment. I have always been very proud of Zen. In Zen you realize and laugh a little and have tea! And so it should be.
It is simple. What it takes is a sensitive, acute, and sincere, honest ability to perceive. The perceiver is the enlightenment. It is unknowable because it cannot be 'grasped.' It IS existence…to fall in love with 'existing' and not being attached to what form it is - AND have developed your sensitivities to perceive this..and enlightenment is easy. To become a Bodhisattva is easy…it takes detachment from all that will not remain with you and an acute awareness of that which does not leave you…and you can only realize this with a 'different muscle' of knowing…your sensing qualities. Mind cannot grasp it…it is 'unknowable,' - whatever mind grasps is not IT…it can only be sensed, but it a reality!!!!..it is the only reality.
And this is GOOD, to realize this. GREAT relaxation comes to one who has realized the deathless one! In Buddhist terms this is a Bodhisattva..one who knows, but still lives in 'mind'. He knows, but still he has mind….
You can go on and develop your consciousness to Buddhahood!…To be ALL awareness! No mind at all…no movement of consciousness outside of pure knowingness. Like a child…just pure existence! If you would wonder what Existence would be like if it took form, a Buddha is this! Pure Existence walking, responding, being…with no mind! Wow…it must be beautiful to see!
And when I say 'Existence', it can bring to mind, rivers, trees, mountains, wind, water….though that is part of existence, existence is enlightenment itself. It is what always is….I mean existence as that which never dies, never comes into being…and is every being. —O, I must stop this. I'm sounding nutsy, right?
But saying just one more thing..maybe two (smile!)…Finally, one can also develop to what is called Tathagatahood. Now…now you can talk about being God. This development also has the powers of God - one with God. This is more than a buddha. Rare individuals attain tathagatahood. A Jesus, a Nansen (zen master)…these are a couple that come to mind, who attain even the powers of God, one with God. I remember reading Vairocana's sutras..wow - to see his development, stage by stage. When he attain tathagatahood, Vajrapani was with him. He said, “My Lord, I have never seen you like this! Vairocana's third eye would shoot out light! When he'd touch his toe to the ground, the whole ground would illumine! He was omniscient! Omnipotent! Incredible! Jesus and Nansen was also a Tathagata, yet they both were quite Tao, very earthy. You would see them chopping wood, doing such simple things. Unlike Vairocana!…more sky-like!
Oh, let me stop. I say this to describe stages of consciousness. Often people think enlightenment is a 'boom' and you are god. No. not at all. Or I read people saying, 'enlightenment is no big deal. It does not change anything.' I wonder what they achieved (?)…no big deal to be done with all anxiety?..that's a big deal to me. And if they had studied, they would know they are not to stop there…there is much more that can be known. Or you can stop there and brag to the whole world you are enlightened and write a couple of books.
I like what one Zen Master said, “All of this work, to bring forth this mouse!”…(laughing!)…yes! I understand his words perfectly!!!!…
Do not be happy with a mouse!….
Open….aware…trust - - - and faith! AND PRACTICE!!!!!! One must practice! (laughing!)….I always have my whip out! Practice!
Often in Zen once the practitioner has a nervous breakdown…crying hysterically…the Zen master would come and say “you are doing good. Get some rest now. You almost there. Just a little more..and you realize.”……
So..the fear, anxiety, panic, tears, blurs….could be a good sign! And let the mind know…the first stages of enlightenment is not that devastating…the mind will still have a job. He will not be totally out of work (!)..whispering to you….'mind likes to know this. It will cooperate better!'
Thank YOU, Sajan! YOU…..sincerely are beautiful.
with love,
Cheyenne
YOU, Awesome Che, are beautiful beyond what eyes can see, heart can feel, mind can know! Your words, like the keys to eternity. I read these words with open heart and I just cannot describe what I feel. I cannot say enough to express the gratitude I feel for the sharing of yourself and your wisdom. So I simply say this, I love you!
Sajan
You, Sajan, are the fascinating one!….it is all you! Your words always reveal so much!
When someone comes rightly to the way, the experience is such that it is more like an experiencing than like an experience.
It is a process that has a beginning but it never ends. You enter into it, but you never possess it. It is like dropping into an ocean..a deep merger takes place and you simply melt away.
It has been a problem for all ages to communicate the way…it cannot be communicated to those who want an intellectual understanding. Your words show it so perfectly - as they often do - “I read your words with an open heart….”
To understand practice, one has to become one with it. Their whole being relates to it, but no intellectual understanding can reveal it. It can only be given to one who is ready to receive; they can allow it to happen because they are receptive and open.
But these words or any words won't and don't help..they are only symbols - theories and doctrines that are of no use…
“I cannot say enough to express the gratitude I feel for the sharing of yourself and wisdom. So I simply say this, I love you!'
Sajan! I love you too! Even in ordinary life we can feel the futility of words!!!! And if you don't feel the futility of words, that shows that you have not been alive at all, it shows that one has lived very superficially. If whatsoever you have been living can be conveyed by words, that means you have not lived at all.
thank you, Sajan, for allowing me to experience YOU!…so beautiful!
with love!
Cheyenne
So be It. silence
Thank you love for Such really beautiful journey you give me as a presente, I could no write inmediately back because of the pace
I when in, no words, a big smile, silence and the top of my head it was like open bottle of a very good champagne, hummmm!!! as I was reading I was feeling my body responding, mind, all.
I will like to share thissss
Just for a moment,
Look a you wife, husbam, lover, beloved or the new persone you just meet.
See how the blood is going out of the body,
see how the flesh is dissepere of the body
living just the skeleton,
look at the skeleton looking at you
tell me,
Are you folling in love!!?? really!!
Where the love is going,
Where the vulneravelity is going!!?,
where it is??, it is any!!?
A gap!!
silence
and also a Big smile with my small naked skeleton doing clic clic clic clic clic
Good night beloved Cheyene and everybody
else, I just arrive in England and I got to know
that a friend took his life. I have lost a very close friend in California and now another persone. Lonliness is dangerous when we don't have understanding
in deep that the heart opens upwards, not outwards, hummm, you know that Cheyene,
isn't!!??.
Love, Chaitanyo
Chaitanyo, I am very sorry to hear about your friend. Oh, I feel anyone with any intelligence has at least thought about suicide once. It is very tragic. I have been close to many people that have taken their life..twice in my own home. It is very tragic.
Sincerely…even this path to me is a sort of 'suicide' a way to end the torture of 'me.' A man, distraught, came to class many months ago. He said tearfully that he wanted to die…and I said to him, 'then you have come to right place. I will teach you a sort of suicide..a way to end you. Ending the body will not help. It will find another house. I will teach you a suicide that truly sets you free.' Though he never before saw practice, he is like a miracle to me how he responded and understood - remarkable and quite impressive. He is one of the best practitioners I know right now.
(smile)..yes, to know the heart open upwards - not only outwards. Loneliness is our nature. I meditate on this a lot, being lonely. Once I fought it with reaching out constantly to heal the separation, but it began to occur to me I was trying to heal that which I wish to realize. Spirit is one…all-one, alone. And I learned to embrace the feeling as a lover..loneliness began to make love to me. The whole gestalt changed…loneliness began to feel like wholeness, at one, a friend that never left me. A slight smile of recognition replaced my discontent.
And your meditation, O, Chaitanyo…I enjoyed it and then laughed too, because ME? I can fall in love with a bag of bones! EASY! I think that is why i can love 'god' so much…I can be in love with someone that ignores all my messages and never speaks to me..! I just go on talking…being in love, imaginging all the beautiful feelings and dancing like someone is here. I am a nutcase of the worst kind when it comes to love!….any man that has loved me in the end when he got away (laughing!).. said finally to me, “girl, I just need a break from you!” Oh, I laugh!….
And your small naked skeleton gonig clic clic clic…oh! It is not the body..but two spirits communing, laughing…sharing!
I send you a BIG embrace…and also much love to those that are and have traveled beyond matter. Our light and love to help them see. Sometimes they don't even know that they have died..even by their own hand. Our love can help them see, awaken them even beyond the body. They can easier begin the process of learning, even before their next embodiment.
Love is a remarkable phenomenon…it reaches every level of life. I sometimes think the hardest place for it to reach is matter.
Much love, Chaitanyo!
all my love,
Cheyenne
Gracias hermosa por mandarme ty mandar a todos tanto amor, se me llenas los ojos de lagrimas de alegria sentir to corazon.
I have to laugh when you say that the men when their goes say, I need to have a break
from you. The father of my daughter toll me
when hi whent, I just want to have a normal
women in the house. Big laugh
I live with a men since 14 years, we have gone
trought many changes, from lover, parnert, companion brother a sister and best friends. At the begining, when with fight, I when for a day to my apartament and when
I felt the I want a hug, I was going to hin nock
the door and say, I need I hug, I didn't care about who was right or wrong, so hi surprise
but hi always give a hug, No matter what happen, I always cook for hin, because this it was his need, hi always it was open for me, and at the same time, hi it was going to be totally truth to hin self and I was going to be totally truth to my self, honestety it was what I was stant for and hi learned that it was no way to scape with me, we never give up to the love but we give up to the codependecy, we when for what it was real in the relation and the changes that happen with the time. It was dificult but no one of us it was going to compromise the truth. Opennes and vulneravelity it was the way this relationship have being. We grow together, love never went. He have a gildfriend and I'm alone now, I could have play games and make love to hin and continue the drama and no alowed the natural changes that happen between people, trying to create situations to foll in love again, but I know intimately that love is always there, changes of expresion yes, and if
we don't manipulate or fantasies of working at it to create the dream, even the dream of Tantric couple that is so much around this days. And the excuse of spiritual grow. Love have it on course of flowing. But strong
desiere for life is need it. We live together but
in total freedom, hi is my best friend.
I have the strong feeling that if we really recognice the essence of love onces, we
can open to alowed to be real, or also if we are real we can recognice the essence of love, is not easy,
alones is the reality, but also so much love
and there is no more high and low that we play all the time that we can feel alive and keep the relationship going. Something else happen, and the spiritual journey
start to evolve more smooth, deep, hummmm.
How can say this, vulneravelity and strengh are one when we have the corage to embrace our
alones as Cheyene say very well, As our Lover,
I love that, is so truth, when I'm alone, I have find my self in total state of making love, such creativity, melting, alowing, be vulnerable with my self alone can be such GUAU!!! and when I'm with a lover my heart goes in speaking tongues, no other langues is possible to share…
“Love is a remarkable phenomenon…it reaches every level of life. I sometimes think the hardest place for it to reach is matter”.
Thank you Cheyene for you beautiful post and this remarkable sentences. “It reaches every level of life”
I like to add that what I feel is that matter and love are one, but to see that is to
see the reality in his most nake crude statement, “Changes”, and love vulnerable flower that need so much care by her very nature flow and change her ways, to learned the art of love is to learned
the art of changes, rivering as you say somewhere before.
If I can rivering inside me, if I can melt every hard coner, I can rivering with you, with all, I'm That…Vulnerabelity is the way for life to flow. To be open to death is
the bigers vulnerabelity, opennes, UF!!!
Thank you for the love you sharing, I open and recive it and pass it on….
I'm learning, is so beautiful what is happen here in this sharing, I'm so greatful, is so rich,
Is such joy to read you. Thank you all beautifuls always and also to Gaia for create this space.
with a pich of peper, sweet, oh and sauwer, and pugnent and of course bitter..All of it
Big love and joy, Chi
I woke up this morning, I felt an emptiness..I felt pain…I closed my eyes..breathe deep..trust my pain..and I felt bliss..I realized that life is what it is…lol…
Oh, Chaitanyo! I feel very certain you and I were dipped in the very same bucket then thrown down here on earth!
I understand your every word…as if I myself have lived your life..are in your blood and see perfect through your eyes. I understand perfectly.
Tell me, Chaitanyo! What is wrong with playing games? Playing games is the best part of love to me!…..you must watch out about living in a crowd of sentient beings…they make you feel something is wrong if you want to play. I always have a 'evil' grin looking for trouble…
…the difficulty I have found as we do grow…is finding a worthy match. I studied the art of Geisha for many years. And one note I took and understood perfectly - and that is the Geisha never gives her gifts to one who is not worthy of the game. She waits…maybe her whole life….until she finds a man that can play the game, THEN…then she begins the art of love making. I enjoy testing a man in every way I can find. I move this way and that way..I say this and then I say that….and if he can move in such a way…in a way that I see that YES, he is a worthy opponent…then Let The Games Begin! But first he must be tested in every way possible..feeling him out, seeing what he is made of, see how he responds to you as you give him every angle of you. And if he is not the 'right' lover, then we remain alone, honing our skills (smile!)….remaining true to our sexuality and always being open to the game of love and enlightenment as an art! Never serious..that is when it is ruined!
And, oh, yes…the more we can be alone..the better lovers we are. Burn the candle at both ends…live at both extremes!…be alone and then be totally with someone. This is the right kind of practice to me! Be able to be both! Totally! Be both and neither!!!! Be both and neither!!!
Oh, Chaitanyo…I have enjoy you in many ways, in heart and in thought and in ways that I have never enjoyed a woman before…you are a pinch of pepper, sweet and sassy..pungent and of course bitter!
I am grateful for YOU!……..what a joy in my soul and life..more than words will ever be able to describe to meet someone like you!
Thank you, Chaitanyo!
with all my love..big love and joy!
Cheyenne
O, Dear Rory, what a beautiful statement you share…
You say…“I realized that life is what it is…lol..” Ordinarily a person accepts a situation when he feels helpless. That is an impotent acceptance. That will not lead you anywhere. Impotence cannot lead one anywhere. A person accepts a situation when he feels he cannot do anything about it. One accepts it just to save face.
For there to be growth in duality, the first thing to always remember is not to develop any 'attitude.' It is to see not with an attitude, but with total vision. We look at it all with no attitude..your experience is perfection, just leave out “life is what it is..” That is a theory. This brings a sort of distortion. The mind is projecting. And we miss the purity of the experience.
You simply float. You simply merge and melt. You become one with the experience. The boundaries are there no more.
Whenever you say what something is…watch! Immediately something closes in. You lose some of the beauty.
The acceptance has a beauty of its own. It is not forced. If you say..it is what is..but still you have a negative feeling, then you will be split. On the outside there is acceptance, but on the inside there is turmoil.
You may have totally accepted what you feel! and I may be speaking in parables!…I know! Your words only gave me this feeling…
Your words are beautiful!
“I woke up this morning, I felt an emptiness..I felt pain…I closed my eyes..breathe deep..trust my pain..and I felt bliss..”
Thank you, Rory! So dearly for sharing yourself!
with love,
cheyenne
I like this idea of gaming to open one another up. Not competing with one another, but willing to feel what the other can throw out there and respond. We surely would be learning about our lover in this way. In our finest Goddess atire, holding a torch and an olive branch; “Let the Games Begin!”
Jeannie!…Yes! Gaming - to open one another up. Not competing, no! That is ugly.
It is very beautiful to me when a man is so much a man, that all my woman rises and I feel wild…and once you become total, it is very interesting to me…it switches…then the woman becomes very male…quite aggressive..and the man can become female, very receptive. And each gains themselves! More of themselves.
Love affairs are so beautiful to me…like a kaleidoscope! a continued turn of perception..and everything continues to change colors and shapes.
Jeannie, thank you!…in your finest Goddess attire! You are always wearing it. I feel your attire in everything you do! I see you this way. Your torch is lit… your olive branch, a new round of negotiations.
with love,
cheyenne
Oh dear, when I'm going to stop, maybe ever,
OK, I'm enjoy it.
This is one version,
Yes, I have play and play, both ends, I love it,
I'm a lover forever and dangerous if you can
closed, I never know what is going to happen,
but as a simple as I'm you are going to be tested and awake, come with me and I will
take u to the Master and that is all what I have
to do, the rest the Master will decide.
This is another version,
I don't know what is to play a game, I don't see
the benefite of it, I see that couple like it,
I have come very close to them to see what
it was all about it, and you know, I didn't see
any love, o yes is fun, sometimes and sufrering
to, maybe there is some grow after long while
of playing the games. I don't get it what is all
about it. Maybe does why I never marrie, I could no play the game. Smile
I'm not in a crow of sensient beings, I could not, remember that truth is important to me,
and sensient beings a far at sleep.
O wonder if the challenge that you are talking about are the same what I call love of truth.
I love to dance, and I love the dance with a men, but you are right is getting more and more dificult to find some one that I can take
to my dance. I'm open, as beloved of Osho was, I know only one way, and that is to be open no matter what, this is the way hi was with us incluiding the days that it was harm. I'm open to recive and to give, but I can not do anymore, it have to happen, the only thing
for me to do is to be total present in me
and respond.
A lover ones toll me, but you don't play relationship games, I say to hin, I don't know
I'm sorry it must be borring, please show me,
and hi left, hi must though that I was from
the moon.
Maybe you Cheyene teach more how all this
goes…
Ones I was in Turkey and my daughter took me
to the mountains to meet a couple friend of her.
Just before we arrive I start to feel something
in the air familier, something very nice. Them we arrive. A big dog it was at the door and a men of 64, very beautiful with the skin brown
from the sun, very friendly it took us through his little vegetable garden that hi cultivate and
at the end the little house where inside her, she was weeving beautiful coloures. I could no say anything, only tears start flow down to my cheeks, no body say anything everything normal, cheess, tea, home bread, tomatoes from the garden, I look around and every coner it was an expresion of love, of their love, something that both where creating together, magical, the mistery of life in front
of me so simple, no games, just to energys weaving together an at the same time strong
individuals, surrender to the creation of alowing love to create through them. I was in the house of love, of course they don't know,
there are, they have become love. And it is
strengh, softness, inmense lovingness, great minds looking together, driving in the same direction, silences, joyful, creating the garden, sculturing wood, weaving colores. Hi was the whole day sharing his love with plants, animals etc until the evening and she didn't see hin, she was creating, hi was creating and
coming together for a nice sweet supper, hard work, so much reverence for life. Yes I was
in the house of love, no playing games, just
reality, totally, beautiful, hard work to get
the basics, so much joy for life it was there,
so simple, oh, yes, inteligence, I love inteligence and there it was to people in the mountains, high intelectuals, living such simple
life in armony with all, Oh Cheyene if you would have being there, I know the joy you had felt and the tears of celebration. Every coner of the garden it was love dancing, live triving, so much passion that have become compassion.
But no play games, they don't know, they didn't givi name to their spiritual down to heart life, but I want to say, because I know, that they where the only Tantra marrige I ever have meet, Hi day a year a go, and she still there celebrating love and weaving beautiful
coulores and she toll me two weeks a go, hi is
gone, really gone, what can I do, just to celebrate the love and be grateful. She ask me
if I still feel in the house the same energy that
when hi was, and I say with tears yes, it is, thank you so much for have me here. Yes I was in house of love and every body have
the potentiality of creating with their own uniqueness, the own house of love.
Maybe the way a feel about the kind of games the couples do with they eachother is out ignorance, but I'm going to be sturbon and keep my ignoraces. I'm Laughing
Big kisses, Chaitanyo
Yes sometimes games may is need in relationship, but as I say, I never I understud it and I'm very
playful soul, you can ask to you friend, hi knows just a little bit of it.
Maybe one day I get it. Big smile
Upon thinking of this conversation today I felt; Let the Dance Begin and then returned here to find Chi has written of the dance. In dancing and playing with one another in love we learn more about who our lover is and who we ourselves are, yes. Like children discovering life anew.
Hi Cheyenne, thank you for these words. The truth sounds so beautiful. I am moved and blessed by you.
Ram Prem
Good Morning, Chiatanyo!!!
I enjoyed reading your letter very much! And I know these sorts of people you speak of. My family was like this. Very silent, loving people. Their minds were content, silent. People now are so tense, so much inner turmoil..always hustling! My grandparents lived in a place and NEVER their whole 70 something years went to the next town! I asked them once..'you mean to tell me, you never went to town (!)' And they said, “No, no need to. Don't need to know what is there.” Their WHOLE life living in such simplicity. Well - I just took my barefooted self to town! I'm going to find out what is in town for you grandma! This is ridiculous!
Very simple people. A different quality of people. They lived in silence. Their minds were not curious, did not bother to inquire about anything other than simple life.
Quite opposite now in America!…Nothing we haven't seen or done!…or watched, or fantasized about!
And this idea of the 'Game Beginning,” let me say this. It is not that the game begins exactly, but that you become aware of it! It exists already. One does not have to 'learn' the game. It is there already! It is happening already!
The idea is not to 'learn' the game, but to recognize it, become conscious about it and the very recognition becomes the beginning of the game!…
Relationships are always moving, going somewhere whether we know it or not. Knowingly or unknowingly - willingly or unwillingly relationships are going somewhere. A great force (!) is constantly working, evolving, creating something within you and your love!
So the question is not how to play the game, no. The question is how to recognize the game. It is there happening right before your eyes!
Animals do not recognize the game, trees and rivers cannot recognize the game of love! But humans, individuals, can become conscious ~ can become aware. That is exactly what being alive means!
So what one does is become aware of the energy (!), become alert to what this energy is, which is already there!!! It is happening! To become aware of this energy is to become aware of beautiful interaction that is 'happening.' You come to a point where you are so absolutely alert that not even the slightest twitch of your lover's arm is not responded to, felt, and enters you orgasmically!
The game never really ever begins..nor does it end. It is your alertness that gives it this beautiful, awake, dynamic interaction! A totally different quality of love is felt, a certain 'meaning' - sheer delight!!!! Relationships often end because people become asleep, dull, unaware.
It is a matter of becoming alert to your every action, to the relationship, to very move that you make. Just a simple act as walking up the street is so divine!..you are aware of your legs, his legs, your breath…his breath, the way he glances, the exchanging smiles..everything illumined and brought alive with sheer alertness! And every step you take, an energy is infusing you and your lover! Each breath a magic is there filling you!
No one 'teaches' you this! Nothing to learn…with deep alertness, even the smallest act becomes sacred! While having dinner or watching a show, it is worship, sacred. It is not a question of what you are doing..it is a question of how you are doing it. Having dinner together could be a sacred event, full of moments of intrigue and divine mystery, invitation and energy, filling you and your love with a mystery to explore. The ordinary lovers waste the evening, waste so many moments. Their stomachs are full..nothing else.
Let the Games begins is gesture of trust, of love! It means a deep trust exists and you feel enlivened by it, freed by it. It is part of the love. You do not think of tomorrow or yesterday, you are alive to every gesture and moment now!
Let the Games begin means be aware, meticulously aware each moment, in each and every act and the cumulative effects is the stuff we call 'enlightenment'!!!!
A game of love and enlightenment!
It is already happening - all you do is become aware, celebrate, respond..rejoice and play!…play! Animals cannot do this. Only humans can!
I am not speaking of psychological problems that create the miseries in relationship, no!!! (laughing!)…oh, those head trips! NO! No head-trip, please!
Being aware keeps the fresh breeze from becoming stale! Everything is always changing and it is beautiful! It brings with it many experiences and with awareness you mature through these experiences remaining fresh, alive, and in love.
I had a dear friend say to me..”As long as I've known you, I've never seen you have an 'off' moment.” I reflected on this and said excitedly..'An off moment?!!! There is no such thing as an “off” moment to an awakened person!”
It is a game of awareness!!!! Every gesture illumined!
OH, Chaitanyo!….thank you so much for your beautiful, simple, truthful and giving heart!!!!
with love!
Cheyenne
Is my trully joy to share the picture that you
are see now. This is one of the art work
that this couple that I was talkin, this it was
inside their house. Both are a very good
american artist. Hi was working with wood and
her is a wonderful weaver (sorry for the bad speeling), sometime they create pieces just
as expresion of their love and spiritual path.
I invite you to open and this wonderful piece
of love. Is a journey.
Much love and silence for them
and for you, Chaitanyo
Ram Prem! There you are! I have missed you! I look forward to your return!
Oh, yes! Truth sounds so beautiful!
It has an ancient sound - eternal music! When you are not, you can hear it, yes!? Truth does have a music all its own. The heart can hear it and respond to it! You can tell when the music is playing, you begin to grow wings and suddenly the sky is open to you! Inviting you to fly! If you do not allow your heart to respond to this music of truth, you will miss a tremendous opportunity, you miss a tremendous possibility. The heart has already responded…! It has heard the music! Now, the dance!
Now the moves!….!..!
O, Ram Prem! So good to see you!
with love!
Cheyenne
Oh, thank you, Jeannie! Let the Dance Begin!
When you become more sensitive, when you start feeling a certain presence, you start dancing..
totally one in heart soul…
a slow flow, floating, melting fusion, a sacred silence. prrrrrrrrrr…..
Embracing the immense intensity of the vast dark light, playful, prayerful - luminous, infinite energy bathing you..
you are pure love, Jeannie!
thank you!
with love,
cheyenne
Thank you, Chaitanyo, for sharing your friends' art! Such creative people!
Thank you!
lovingly,
cheyenne
Dear Cheyene,
You must have a beautiful familly in this village,
but the people I was talking are no village people, are americans well educate people,
a very good artist living from his art and teachers. They meet and love start growing
took them to Turkey in the mountains, but keep their minds and connection very alive,
but at the same time no lossing the essencial,
Love, in them and armony with their sorrunders. Their commitement it was to love,
to grow in this heart in armony with nature.
When love happen between to people what is
happen that their love goes to all around, their dance of love touch everything that get
in contact with.
Ok, now I see, you are talking about the dance of awarenes in love, YES, I'm with you
there totally there, I dance this steps, it
always bring me to silence.
Forgive me that I don use the word game,
games in relationship for me are more connectet to the psicological sick part of it, that kill love.
I prefere Dance. The game I leave it in the casinos, and I have to say, I have enjoy the casinos, Oh yes if I have to play games, casinos are wonderful.
I little voice inside just say, But you don't need the big cities for to know what is going
on. Big smile
Thank you Cheyene for you sharing is so wonderful all what you say, and yes Awarenes-
Love, hand by hand is a wonderful dance, this
is the dance..
Namaste my love, Chaitanyo
Thank you dearly, Chaitanyo!
This has been a fun interaction!…
You know, maybe I should use the word 'challenge'….for me personally, it is more than a dance!….I also invite and challenge my lover to delve into the inner world! And I like very much when they challenge me to taste of the ancient wisdoms that are hidden within our psyches and souls. It is a lost art, I think. A lost luxury! But if one accepts the challenge relationships are techniques for transformation, a quest! I offer constantly (laughing!)…challenges to my love. They are sort of devices to create trust. It is a form of being creative to me, to help lovers examine and break free of their conditioning. And again, I need it also. I enjoy deeply someone that challenges me…offers me opportunities to go beyond myself, calling me to see beyond my small little self, which at times, if left alone, I can get trapped. A lover can be a challenge!
Love is more than a dance to me…
..it is also an invitation!
But I think now after reading the posts…I am speaking some of my own personality. I enjoy a challenge VERY much!…I'm impossible that way!
Oh, Chaitanyo! Thank YOU!!!!…for sharing!
Namaste!
with love!
Cheyenne
Oh!!!, let me say something more please,
Challenge, yes, every step is a challenge,
Today I got to know that my companion of 15 years and still hi is, hi didn't took care of me when hi did the will, I'm left in the winds and at this moment I'm 54 years, I felt sad, but no fear, even I laugh later walking in the street, hi is a good persone, but we are no marrie, so hi is afraid of his family altought the are all very wealthy, hi is also sad but hi choose to numm his feelings.
I when out for a walk and the word trust come
to me. Shoundly I felt that trust have nothing
to do with the other, that I new already), but them, nothing to do with I trust the Universe will provide, trust is not about a future envolving desire, fears, I was getting closed to something that I can put it in words. What is
really Trust!!?. Shoundly I felt that trust is about
(so difficult to find words), that space inside
that can no be disturve by anything, my body right now have trumble writing this. Maybe
is truth, this is trust.
I feel like baby learning to walk, deeper,
loving,
Much love, thank you, silence
Oh, Chaitanyo!….what news for you to receive. and you can say whatever you wish, as often and as many times as you wish.
In the outside world, Chaitanyo, if you have 'faith' in someone, betrayal is certain to come. Betrayal is the other side of faith. When people are cultured and refined, it is easy for the head to betray the heart. Love can easily be betrayed by logic. It has happened in my life also…oh, did I discover where money is concerned there is no loyalty. Do not be surprised. Truth brings humility and humbleness.
Trust life. Don't waste your life for that which is going to be taken away. If you trust..just trust, something opens up. The universe always fulfills a true need. But we must reveal this need. We cannot be betrayed by anybody except ourselves. We are not deceived…nothing that we have can be taken away from us. And if it can be, it was not worth having.
It might be very difficult, as you say - feeling like a baby - but you will learn much about yourself..challenges open both outward and inward.
The trembling awakens us from our sleep. It is a challenge to meet life's difficulties. These moments can be so difficult, as we have to wake up and stop dreaming. It can challenge our whole being, not denying anything.
These shakes and shocks can be a gift….can be our awakening.
Trust yourself….what you will learn is of greater value than any money someone would give you.
I send you a very very big embrace and my total love.
much love..
Cheyenne
Chey,
That was so beautiful what your wrote to Chai..Quote' The universe always fulfills a true need. But we must reveal this need” I cannot tell you how lucky I am because the Universe has never failed me…
Thanks for sharing…
Yes, the Universe pours into all right places, at just the right time!
Good day, Rory and Jeannie!!!! Thank you!
yes…the Universe pours into all the right places…at just the right time!
There needs to be emptiness for it to pour into, yes?
Fear is the biggest obstacle. I think we often become paralyzed by the fear..thinking because we feel fear, there is something to fear. The past is so forceful because it is known - the mind feels comfortable. The mind is very fearful of the unknown, the unexperienced. With the known it can repeat the same pattern in a circle..just move in the same groove.
Having to be aware is very inconvenient. The fear is coming from the mind..it wishes to remain asleep…the unknown is frightening to the mind.
And the outward responds to the inward!!! Whenever there is inward revolution, whenever there is some inner transformation, it is followed by many outward things and signs. It is bound to be! Because the inward exists in relation to the outward. Nothing can happen inside which will not affect the outside world also.
So is it that the universe has not failed you…or you did not fail the universe?
If you empty yourself, the universe abhors a vaccum…empty out this room of air, instantly air rushes in!…pours into all the right places - at just the right time!….
Thank you both….Rory and Jeannie!
with love!
Cheyenne
Your words are compelling to me. Thank you for pouring them. :-)
Thank YOU, Jeannie!!!
If you are feeling compelled, I would say only thing: Do not bother about respectability. And do whatever is natural and healthy. And then one can manage a bridge between matter and spirit, between this world and that world!
Oh, we are fighting mountainous unconsciousness!
Thank you again, Jeannie!
with love,
che
Hello Cheyenne, I sat one day with a rock and it said “Now tell me with these challenges is it to win, to be above below or beyond it all”, and we laugh blistering in joy till we turn to dust.
J.M.
Oh, Just Me! That is quite funny! I think I just had an awakening!
A person who is religious to me is not one who is above nature, but is the person who is totally natural, a person that has explored nature in all its dimensions!
Man has destroyed himself, all his abilities to laugh blisteringly (!), all his beauty trying to become something greater than nature…and he has not become something higher, no. But something lower in every possible way.
We were born natural beings. You cannot go above yourself. It is just like trying to lift yourself off the ground by pulling your hair. You may lift off your toes a little, jump maybe, but sooner or later you land again into yourself. People have been trying to raise themselves above nature, which means above themselves. We are not separate from nature, but the idea suits the ego.
Yet (!) man has the capacity, the intelligence, the freedom to explore! And if you have explored nature totally, you have come home. Nature is our home!! You can go deeper into nature, you can be more natural than a rock! You can go to the abysmal depths of nature, and you can go to the very heights of nature!…but, you cannot go beyond in any way. But you can become multidimensionally natural (smile!)
But you have to earn it. It is not just given to you. The opportunity is there for anyone, but you must explore, you must deserve it.
Then…as you say, the joy till you turn to dust! If you explored your nature totally, then death is a joy, a celebration! Then you die without any complaint! With deep peace and gratitude!
To die an authentic man!….
I saw a person walking a dog once that he dressed up like a human!..he was wearing a shirt, pants, hat…! I giggled inside and wondered if we look this to the Gods? We are dressing up like divine beings.
Thank you so much, Just Me!!!! Please, kiss the rock for me the next time you see it!
with much love!
cheyenne
Hello Cheyenne, I have in my travels walked numerous a road but few with as many innocent wanderings born as natural as yours. In celebration and Graditute
Thank You for the Trip always a stones throw away. Odd because they can't having no arms to dress up to be something they are not.
J.M.
Rocks are pieces of Gaia ~ radiant little beings
I live with an stone carve and sculture, my house in and out is full of stone, I love them,
each othern have an history to tell.
David my friend hi did an circle and hi wrote going from the ouside to the inside.
You can not see clearly
except from the heart
things the matter
are invisible to the
Eye
Hi, Just Me!….thank you very much! What a smile you give me!
Yes! I just wander wherever!…with nature! I have no goal, because existence has no goal. It simply is, flowering, blooming, dancing! It does not ask why. Just an overflow of energy, for no reason at all. We are existence!
Beautiful chaos! and I am ready to go with it wherever it leads!…and people call me mad!…crazy! (laughing!).
I am in celebration and gratitude to YOU, Just Me! Thank you!
lovingly,
Cheyenne
Jeannie!!!!! That is so beautiful!…!!! You have a tremendous way of touching me with your words…so simple yet brilliant! Thank you!
May we all become rooted in Gaia! Living with intensity, passion - with our whole being. And from this trust, from this passion we will go beyond! The other world is hidden in this world!!!!
Thank you, Jeannie, always!
with love,
Cheyenne
I have never thought of rocks as much as I have the last couple of days. Now I too am beginning to fall in love with rocks!
Dear Chaitanyo! Thank you! Your house is blessed by your love!
And what a beautiful poem. Thank you!
I have seen so many people change - even without their knowing it! - drastically, like it happened without their knowing - just from relating heart to heart!
With the heart, slowly, slowly, like water over a rock, we can transform the whole world without any bloodshed, without dictatorship. With a force unseen by the eye - love, intelligence, generosity and from being real.
Big big hug, Chaitanyo!…
all my love!
Cheyenne
Yea, you wonder if it is “not” surival of the fittest but those most willing to go and be as the flow. Which can make you as firm as a rock but move like ocean. One drop one, one grain, one breath at a time, in time and as time itself do you move onward when it is time.
=}
You silence, hummmm
Ooohh, Just Me!! I enjoy this very much!…exactly!
No need for us to wonder, it is exactly as you say!
Those who practice as 'survival of the fittest' are on a path that is sometimes called Hinayana, the path of yoga! It for those - well - I'll say whose ego is still quite strong. They need steps, procedures - guidelines! Nothing wrong in it! I teach yoga! And most of the people that I personally work with do very well with it!
YET (smile!)…the path of Mahayana, the path of tantra is the great vehicle! The path of love!..the path of trust!
Just as you say - the path of flow! The river is going to the sea so why fight? The whole is taking you on its own accord. You need not make an individual effort. Move with the river (!), become one with the river, surrender! Surrender is the keyword in tantra. With yoga the key word is 'will'.
Surrender! All bliss, all moments of bliss happen only when you surrender. Even death becomes blissful, beautiful (!), if you can surrender to it (meow!).
And if death is beautiful when you surrender to it, what to say about life!!!!
If you want to learn anything, anything at all, learn trust! If you do not trust, nothing else will help. Learn first and foremost trust! Trust gives meaning because trust makes you capable of allowing the whole to descend upon you!
And 'in time and as time itself you move onward when it is time.” Exactly. And why be in a hurry. We are all intricately connected. Even if you become a great peak in this ocean, you are still connected to all the other waves.
And enlightened person is in no hurry..in time, because he is aware that he is a part of all the other waves, of all the others. We are one with each other. Moving as the great ocean!…in time, when we are ripe, yes?
In Zen, they teach you to be firm as a mountain..a great rock. And when someone is blowing air on you, you simply smile to them and say, 'no matter how the wind blows, the mountain does not move.' Ooooh, it makes people angry! (laughing!)…..
I enjoy deeply how you say this, yes….you must be a rock but move like the ocean!!!!
Beautiful, Just Me!!!!
Thank you dearly!
with love!!!
Cheyenne
Oh, Good Day, Chatianyo!!
I join your silence…..om shanti shanti-……..
che
This much beauty ought to be illegal … Che! you are neither ether, fire, air or water nor earth… you are Shakti.
hehe..
(laughing!)…Shakti!!!!
There was a time, Leez, for years, I practice breath, dance, chanting 108 names of the divine mother- silently feeling “I am Shakti” - before worshiping Shiva in his 108 forms.
It is a beautiful feeling to realize we are Shakti/Shiva!
Big hug to YOU!…and much love, Leez!
Cheyenne