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Jealousy : Society teaches us over and over through jealousy.  From the very childhood we are taught comparison. It is bound to sink into you.  Very clever ways have been found to keep you away from yourself.  And if you are away from yourself, so many things are absolutely certain. You will remain miserable - forever. From one misery to another.  And that will have been your whole life.Society has exploited each individual in so many ways it is impossible to conceive.  Devises that destroy our integrity, take us away from everything that we have, and doing it in such a way, that we do not even suspect.   And this happens because of jealousy.  Jealousy means to compare.  Jealousy means to live in comparison.  Somebody is higher than you, somebody is lower than you.  Always finding yourself somewhere on the ladder - this ladder of jealousy.  If somebody is above you, it hurts.  If somebody is below you, you feel better.   This is how it keeps you going.  Because if somebody is higher than you, you must keep fighting, struggling, moving by any means possible.  Because how you succeed does not matter.  Only that you succeed by any means proves you were right.  If you fail, that proves you were wrong.  All that matters is success.  The end proves the means.  The whole question is how to climb the ladder.   Very cunning!  This method to keep you moving away from yourself has been polished, refined for thousands and thousands of years.  And it is difficult to jump out of it.  One reason is because you may not be on the top, but you are above somebody - and that feels good.  That is our satisfaction.   If somebody is above you, that create jealousy, misery, suffering, humiliation, you feel worthless.  You feel you have not been man enough, woman enough to prove you are the best.  But still you can look and see you are better than others.  So there is some satisfaction.  You are not absolutely useless.  And this small satisfaction makes it difficult to jump out of the game.   It is a dilemma.   And people keep encouraging each other, "Keep going!  Don't get depressed! Remain positive, optimistic!  The dark night will not last forever!  Soon you will be on top of the world!  Don't be afraid, don't be a failure."    They give you thousands of reasons to keep going.   But the message is the same:  You can be anybody, just don't be yourself.  And they create jealousy.   There are times I wish the whole of history could be flushed down the toilet!  And we had nothing to compare ourselves to.  From the very beginning we tell the children, "look at Alexander the Great, look at Jesus Christ, look at the saints, look at the CEOs, the President."   Jealousy will always arise, because of comparison.  Somebody will always succeed better than you - and you better than others.   Jealousy is not seeing a simple fact - that you have been taught to see yourself as inferior to someone, as superior to someone.  And we have become so unconscious of it, that we are constantly judging ourselves as superior, inferior, good, bad, wrong.   And comparison is not just with money or power, but it can be with absolutely anything!  "She has a more beautiful earring than me!"   The homeless person has a more beautiful box.  It can be anything.   Drop competition, drop jealousy.   It is absolutely pointless. It is cunning devise to keep you from being yourself.   If you are yourself, you will be content, fulfilled, in ecstasy.  Why would you follow advertisement if you are in ecstasy.  Who would bother?  Who would bother with the priests?  Inside yourself you will find a tranquility, a serenity, a silence, a treasure unfathomable!  You.    Everybody has all the beauty of the world, of the universe in different ways it will express itself.
Jealousy
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Facing the Reality : Dreaming is a substitute for reality.  But dreaming is not reality.  You can dream of food, but it will not nourish you. The mind can befool the body for the time being but the body is going to suffer.  Reality is reality and you need real food. But what is to be known about this is that there is a real hunger behind it, which the mind is trying to fulfill. Listen to the message intently.  It is saying that you are not what nature intends you to be. You are missing something immensely important to you.  It is saying that you are not your authentic self.  Dreaming of becoming Buddha or Christ or Alexander the Great is only symbolic.  It shows that you are groping in the dark.    Who are you?  The dream indicates a certain hunger in you.  That is what is important, what is to be understood.  It is very significant.  People are not just dreaming of Christ or Buddha, they are also dreaming of money, millions of people dreaming of power and prestige.  Women dreaming of men - men dreaming of women, dreaming of being the president. If you are dreaming, there must be some hunger in you which you feel is fulfilled by this dream.  Even if you are dreaming of being another Christ or Buddha, you never will be.  Existence never repeats itself.  History repeats itself because idiotic humanity keeps doing the same stupidity over and over.  It never learns.  But existence never repeats itself.  It always produces only unique pieces, one of a kind. There is no repeat.    If you are looking too much at Krisna, Buddha, Jesus, Krisnamurti, it is a kind of disease. A Christain is accustomed to a certain way.  A Hindu is accustomed to a certain way.  No one can dream about something he is not familiar with.  A dream is not creative.  It has to be something you are familiar with.  Maybe you decided to piece it all together.  A little from the Koran, a little bit from the Gita, a little from the Buddha, from society, trying to make something of yourself that works.  It is just all hodge-podge.  You can continue to create ideas of what you should be, how you should be, but it will still be dead.  By composing, you cannot create consciousness.  What dream is to man, mythology is to society.    You have a hunger. The dream indicates it, but the dream is not going to fulfill it.  Take the indication, then start getting rid of the dream.  Its work has been fulfilled.  Don't follow the dream, don't try to become Christ or Buddha.  That is not the meaning of the dream.  If you succeed at becoming Christ it will be most unfortunate. Thousands of years and nobody has become a Christ but a few.  They are now in the insane asylum.    Sanity means that you are closest to your center.  You go on getting closer and closer to your center, until one day you are perfectly at the center of yourself.  You are just yourself, and nobody else, just pure, authentic, with no shadow of anybody else falling on you.    A mad person, an insane person, has totally allowed the dream to possess him. If you continue to dream, the dream can possess you so much, that it becomes a reality to you.  You go insane.  Mad people are perfectly happy. An insane person is not unhappy.  He believe his dream.  So if you are miserable, be happy!!!  At least you are not insane. At least you have some sanity left.  That is why you are miserable.  The misery is the feeling that you are not yourself.  It is the gap between you as you are, and you as you feel you should be.  The bigger the gap, the more miserable you are.  Idiots are not miserable, for the simple reason they do not have the intelligence to see the gap. The more intelligent you are, the more miserable because you can see the gap so clearly that it is impossible to forget it.  It is always there.  Whatever you are doing, the gap is in front of you.  It hurts.   If you are trying to be something other than you are, it means you are not being sane.  It means you cannot distinguish between the dream and the real. And to forget the distinction between the dream and the real is a great loss.  And there are millions of people walking, talking, working, and they are not able to make the distinction between the real and the unreal.  So many superstitions. God is a superstition!  You have not seen him.  Maybe Jesus made him up.  And we go on worrying about it, torturing ourselves.   You cannot argue with a Christain, a Hare Krisna. You cannot argue with madmen.  It is impossible.  They do not listen to what you are saying.  They go on reading from the Bible, dreaming of scriptures and demigods.  The dream is your innermost self telling you that you are not yet what you were meant to be.   Just be yourself, utterly yourself. And don't be bothered too much with what you are. All that matters is that you flower.  The ecstasy come from the miracle of flowering, not what flower you are.  The moment you become yourself an ecstasy will surround you.   Our culture, our education, our religions have taught us to be hypocrites in such subtle ways that unless you go deep in search, you will never find out what you have been doing.  It has been driven into the unconscious.  That is why Sigmund Freud paid more attention to the unconscious, because it is more innocent, childlike, primitive.  It cannot lie.  It cannot be deceptive.  It will simply say whatever is the truth.  But the cunning mind, it is educated, cultured.    One has to understand all the layers and detach oneself from all of them.  Why do you go on smiling at strangers, friends, when we do not want to.  It is because we have been taught we might need them one day. It is policy that you pay other people attention, no matter what they do to you, no matter how you feel.  Become more alert so that you do not become identified with the dream.  Yes, it might even mean you have to tell someone to 'go to hell' (smile!)...it will be better for your soul.   This is the whole of the work - to be yourself.   When you are being yourself, you fell a feast!  When joy is available, why be a phony?  When authentic ecstasy is just close by your hand, why be satisfied with misery?  Your treasure is within you.   Perhaps it will be hard in the beginning because you have been unauthentic for so long.  It can be difficult.  I do not enjoy all this talk about about 'just be'...Enlightenment is easy.  No.  It can be arduous.  It sounds so simple, I know.  But inside it is so difficult.  But it has to be done.  Without doing it you lived without knowing what life is.  You are existing in a way which cannot be called living.   Simply being yourself is waking up.
Facing the Reality
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Potential : There is something of immense importance about truth; unless you find it, it never becomes truth to you. Truth is a subtle knowing that is felt in your potential.  It is not something that you find outside of yourself.  It is something that you are.  Yet one may not find it, may not experience it.  It is in your being like a seed.  It may flower or it may not.  You may be successful at becoming your potential, or you may not.  It all depends on you, what you will do with yourself.    The only authentic responsibility is towards your own potential, your own intelligence and awareness - and to act accordingly.  Society teaches us to choose the convenient, the comfortable, the well-trodden path that has been walked by our forefathers and their forefathers all the way back to Adam and Eve.  Repeating to us to choose the well-trodden path because millions and millions of people cannot be wrong. They will try to create guilt in you. And once you create guilt in someone, you have almost murdered the human potential in him.  He can never be independent.  He will be dependent on a messiah, God, or some holy guru.   To know your own truth, your own potential, you will have to save yourself from so many well-intentioned people, do gooders, who are constantly advising you to be this or that. They do not mean harm, but harm is what happens. Just listen to your own heart.  That is your only teacher.  In the real journey of life, your own intuition is your only teacher.   And unless you make a person feel guilty, you cannot enslave him psychologically.  It is impossible to imprison him to cling to some ideology, some belief system of right or wrong.    What is the definition of right?  It is that which is harmonious with existence.  And you cannot depend on readymade answers for this.   Simply do with what rings inside of your heart, something that you would like to do in spite of any consequences. Never worry about consequences. Put everything at stake. Live without any fear of heaven or hell.  Do not allow people to put values on you.  Values should grow with your awareness.   Each day will brings its own problems, its own challenges. Many of our problems are because we have never looked at them face-to-face.  And not looking at them is giving them energy.  Being afraid of them is giving them energy, always trying to avoid them is giving them energy - because you are accepting that they are real.  Other than our acceptance, they don't exist.  By facing our problems directly, most will simply disappear, because they were not real - they were most likely given to you from outside.   Life moves so fast!  It is dynamic, not static.  And so many things that are right for this moment will not be right for the next.  One cannot rely on any 'Golden Rules.'  The only Golden Rule is that there is no Golden Rule.  There cannot be.  Life is so vast, so immense, so mysterious, it cannot be reduced to any rule or maxim.  A truly authentic person does not live by rules or maxims.  He simply lives.    Simply keep doing what rings your bell, rings inside of your heart, something that you would like to do in spite of any consequences. Put everything at stake. Live without any fear of heaven or hell. Because what is not lived in you, will only burden your psychology.  All that could have been lived - all the love affairs, friendships, missed opportunities that have not flowered will only burden your consciousness. Take as many bites out of life as possible and chew it well and digest it.  Experience life in all possible ways - the good and bad, the bitter and sweet, the dark and the light - every season.  Don't be afraid of experience, because the more you experience, the more integrated you become.   And nobody is superior, nobody is inferior, but nobody is equal either. So no need to compare - so much energy being wasted in competition and conflict. People are simply unique, incomparable.  You are you and the other is the other.  You have to contribute your potential to life, and the other has to contribute his.   And with such a short time to live, with such a small energy source, it is simply stupid to waste it in fighting, sadness, anger, hatred.  Use it in love, use it in some creative act,  in friendship, in meditation.  Do something with your energy that will take you higher.  And the higher you go, the more energy becomes available to you. At the highest point of consciousness, the highest potential, you know godliness. 
Potential
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Living Just the Way You Are : What it means to be a master is to make no demands on yourself, no demands remain - neither for wealth, sex, or status; no asking remains.  It is when you can say "I accept myself as you have made me.  I accept myself as I am.  I accept myself completely."   In such a state the emperor is born within you.  Then even if you are a beggar you are an emperor.  As things are now, even if one is an emperor it is only in name; inside there's just a beggar.   Live just the way you are.  If bad then bad, if good then good.  Let the whole world know who you are.  Uncover yourself.  Say "This is how I am; this is my destiny.  This is how existence has made me.  If the world accepts, fine, if the world does not accept, fine."   No Buddha will ever happen again, no Mahavira, no Jesus, no Christ - nor another YOU!
Living Just the Way You Are
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Feeling a Transformative Year : Been enjoying the last week or so tending to home and children.  An energy been building up in my soul...!!!..   ...a burning energy.  Burning into my blood, my bones - What is this so-called sane world?  Power-hungry people, politicians, preachers.....seeking my own path.  Spending time with my energy, feeling the humor in the heart, the love.  Feeling nurished by the silence.   Training a lot.  Enjoying the body as the temple - practicing surrender to God, to the Beloved.    At first this week, I was thinking 'how will shall I come against this world? All those trying to manipulate?  A feeling of needing to escape!  And as I trained going deeper into my own soul, into the essential man, laugher began to rise, a feeling of love!  Laughter.  Why fight?  Trust, love!  One misses the peak by fighting!   I have handwriting project on my lap also right now!  Very excited to see it come about.  I hope to do some wonderful work with this!    A totally different vision is arising in my heart, my life.  Feeling a transformative year!   Always sending love to Gaia!...enjoy everyone here so much!
Feeling a Transformative Year
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Mommy and Son : It is getting cold here in Tahoe City.  It actually snowed yesterday!..So much happening here - all the children are in sports now with school and the two homeschoolers. Work has also increased to full-time - wow!I will be off-line for a few weeks as thing settle to a workable pace!Always I wish to say thank you for the wonderful interactions.  I enjoy so much.  And look forward to many more!I wish everyone a beautiful autumnal equinox!with love!Cheyenne
Mommy and Son
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Be Water, My Friend. : "Be water, my friend."...Bruce Le   This is also the whole method of tantra.  It means 'do not make an effort.'  If you make an effort, you come in.  It means that you allow things to happen, you don't make an effort.  It is not a doing, it is a happening.  Without making an effort...you float with it, remaining loose and natural.     What does it mean to be 'loose and natural'?  It means don't fight with yourself, be loose - be water.  Don't try to make a structure around yourself of character, of morality.  Don't discipline yourself too much; otherwise, your very discipline will become the bondage.  Remain loose, floating, move with the situation, respond to the situation.  Don't move with a character jacket around you, don't move with a fixed attitude.   Remain loose, like water, not fixed like ice.  Remain moving and flowing; wherever your nature leads you, go.  Don't resist, don't try to impose anything on you, your being.   The whole society teaches you to impose something on you - be good, be moral, be this and that. Tantra is absolutely beyond society, culture, civilization.  It says if you are too much cultured, you will lose all that is natural, you will be a 'fixed' thing.....not floating, not flowing.  So don't force a structure around you.  Live moment to moment, alive with alertness.    It is more difficult to be water, my friend (smile)...because you cannot be asleep.  If you have a fixed character, you can sleep.  It is already predetermined how you will behave.  You have the bible there next to the bed, you can ask the personal coach for what to do..this is not water.  This is looking for something fixed.  To be water means to respond to the situation.  Something is there and you are absolutely unprepared for it, you will have to be aware, you have to be water, flowing.  To avoid this responsibility, we build a 'character' around ourselves, we force a discipline on ourselves so the discipline takes care of you.  Life is not so simple...a character will not help you.  Life is a very complex phenomenon.  And I am not suggesting always tell the 'truth'. Sometimes a lie is needed, sometimes truth can be dangerous, so one has to be aware.  If you have a fixed mind you may think you must always tell the truth.  "I am a good man. I tell the truth."  Sometimes telling the truth is dangerous, stupid.  You must be able to flow.  You might be afraid that someone is going to call you a liar..so what?   Why be so bothered what people will say about you?   Live with full awareness, and your awareness will be your light.  Respond with full awareness.  Life goes on moving and changing, and every moment there is a new situation. Let your decisions come out of the situation itself, not predetermined.   Don't carry predetermined ideas of how you will respond..remain loose and aware and natural.  Be water, my friend.   Be loose.  Let this penetrate you deeply.  Be loose.  So in every situation you can flow, easily, like water, so if the water is poured into a glass, it takes the shape of the glass.  It doesn't resist, it doesn't say, 'this is not my form'..'this is not my way.'  If the water is poured into a jar, into a jug, it takes the shape of that.  It has no resistance, it is loose.   Don't be moral, be natural -  Because a moral man is never natural, cannot be. If he feels angry, sexual, upset, he cannot be natural because of his morality.  Even if he feels loving, he cannot because of morality.  A moral man always acts according to his morals. He is a pretender, a hypocrite, false.  He does not act according to his nature.  And if you act according to morals and not your nature, you will NEVER reach to a state of blissfulness.  Because a state of blissfulness is the highest peak of being natural.   It is difficult to be water, my friend, because you will have to live in a society full of hypocrites.  It is difficult because everywhere you will find a conflict with a hypocrite.  It is sometimes arduous..sometimes fun (smile)....and at times you feel completely alone.  But others, a few - that may become friends - they feel your authenticity. And if you become authentic, you will start flowering.  You don't even have to try to flower, it happens on its own accord.  And once you get the knack of it, more and more you become loose, natural...like water.   And once you are water, liberation is not very far away, as water flows towards the ocean..the vapors to the sky! Be water, my friend...be water. 
Be Water, My Friend.
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Exposing Our Deepest Feelings & Vulnerabilities Takes Great Trust : To be willing to expose our deepest feelings and vulnerability takes great trust. It takes great inner strength, and courage.  Courage to know that even if the other betrays you, you will remain open. It is beautiful to trust.  Beautiful...and difficult.  But if you look deeply into the difficulty, you will see it is not exactly that you do not trust.  If you watch you will find it is simply a lack of courage.  Then things can be different.  When you know it is fear - not distrust - then you can decide to have courage.  And remember always, it is natural to feel this fear.  It exists in everybody. So don't label yourself as a coward.  The fear of the unknown exists in everybody.  One simply has to go slowly and move beyond the known.  Having the courage to step forward...you can always come back (big smile!) (with a little knowledge and experience!)Everyone is in this catch 22...without trust we feel fear..which again fuels our distrust and lack of courage. So the first thing we must do to be able to trust is accept yourself.  Accept yourself fully.  If you can come to accept yourself fully, you will not be concerned about respect, you will not need to worry about saving your face.   You can be trusting, just as an innocent child.  And what does it mean to be trusting as an innocent child?  It means you are showing the highest kind of love - trust.  It is the purest love.  It is uncontaminated love - uncontaminated by any desire.But you can only do this if you are not thinking about consequences.  Do not bother about what will happen, just be willing to act according to your own being, to your own spontaneity.  You must have the courage to move beyond society and what they have told you what is 'right'.   But if you trust someone with a motive, it is not trust...you will become fearful again. You are using the person. If you think by trusting someone you will attain happiness, then you will not be able to trust. You are using them. They have become a means to an end.  That is not very respectful. Just live moment to moment...with no outcome in mind.   Then not the outcome, but the trust is the bliss...just the act of trusting gives one a feeling of blissfullness. With practice and experience, you will come to say anything and everything you feel, sincerely - with no concern of consequences.  Even if you feel the fear, the hesitation, all it takes is a little courage.  And you can also encourage the other person to be intimate.  Your openess will help the other person also to be open.What you will come to find out is that not only were you feeling fear, so was the other..not only are you concerned about your weakness, but the other too has weaknesses -you will begin to feel more trusting, less as strangers.And always remember that everything that is beautiful, precious is also only momentary.  We want to cling, hold on and make every precious moment permanent.  It simply cannot be.  Always know perfectly well that tomorrow cannot be promised.  What you know, what you share with someone is precious because it is momentary.  We become very frustrated when we try to cling.  And when we become frustrated, a distance grows between you, you begin fighting...and what was meant to be beautiful, to be moments of happiness just become one big long misery (laughing!).But if you can become unafraid of being intimate with someone, it can become a great transformation.  You begin to become not only unafraid of the other, but most importantly, you become unafraid of yourself.  You begin to drop everything that you once were ashamed of.  You realize your own beauty.  You realize life...! To become intimate and trust someone means that the doors of your heart are open.  It means that you welcome another to be a guest.  You are allowing each other to be innocent as children, no fear...just opening yourself to be seen, as you are. 
Exposing Our Deepest Feelings & Vulnerabilities Takes Great Trust
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All Autobiographies are Ego-Biographies : What we call an autobiography is not the story of the soul.  As long as you do not know what the soul is, whatever you write, whatever you say about yourself is an "ego-biography." When seeking self-knowledge there is no autobiography.  All autobiographies are ego-biographies.   When one realizes his soul, the person changes completely into something so formless that what we call the facts of his or her life, facts like birth, dates of particular happenings and events simply dissolve.  All these facts cease to have any meaning. The awakening of a soul is so cataclysmic that after it occurs, when one opens his eyes he finds that everything is lost.  Nothing is left.  No one to talk about what has happened.  After one awakens, an 'autobiography' seems to be like a dream version of oneself.  When awakened to speak of the self is like telling someone of a dream, a fantasy, a fairy tale.  "Once upon a time, this happened and that happened..."  These 'happenings' only happened to your ego.    Once awakened your autobiography does not survive.  The ego does not survive. Deeply speaking, your soul does not survive.  Everything will seem like a dream sequence.   You attain not a history to tell, but knowledge.  Knowledge of reality.  
All Autobiographies are Ego-Biographies
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